Hearts On Fire

Ten: Nikkah Day

Fatima Zarah had never thought that a day close to this day would ever come. She had been on her prayer mat for what seemed like forever. And even now that the sun had risen and she could see the rays that were eager to bless her already bloodshot eyes, they had bulged through her thick curtains and she could clearly see them.

She heaved a sigh and rested her head on her brought up knees. She had never felt this heavy within. She felt as if a gigantic rock was placed on her chest and also she felt empty. As if all the organs she had in her body had been sucked out by something huge. She knew any minute from now, the noises she heard from the courtyard would be back in her room the moment Hajjo came in and met her where she left her after giving her an earful about how she had to get herself ready before it was time for the marriage to be solemnized.

She wanted to scream at the pitch of her voice, so that Ammi could know there had been a silent war happening within her mind but she had nothing to do about it. She closed her eyes and wished she could sleep, a bit more. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept, the kind of sleep that took away all her worries. Because now, even if she was asleep, her demons fought her through her dreams.

A soft knock came before she heard the door creaked ajar and the intruder walked to where she was seated. She didn't look up until whoever it was placed his hand on her and that was when she realized it was Ammi. And she heaved a sigh within. Because if it was Hajjo, the whole house would have echoed about how she still haven't had her bathe and it left only a few hours for the wedding to be solemnized.

"Fatima Zarah, look up to me." Ammi said with a voice that calmed her down the moment she heard it and Ammi drew her in for a hug.

"Ammi, I feel like dying. Everything is exhausting my soul. I want this to be a dream, I wish I can run away from what's happening in my life right now." She whispered slowly and rested her head on Ammi's shoulder, wishing she could cry this out even for once. She had so much held in within her soul that she wished she could have something that would douse the fire in her soul and it would be out as a volcano. Because the fire was only burning her soul.

Ammi slowly broke their hug and she cupped Fatima Zarah's head with a loving smile. "You know some things in life are better left as life brought them to us. You can't do anything about this, so can I. We just have to keep praying that this turns out to be the best for you, I'm sure it will be."

Before Fatima Zarah could reply Ammi, the door got opened again and Hajjo walked in, her hands instantly covering her lips. "What am I seeing, Fadimatu? You still haven't taken your bath? The grooms will be here any minute and you're still undressed!"

Fatima Zarah internally groaned and looked up at Hajjo, "I thought I told you that I can't bathe today and tomorrow? I'm not feeling my hands today, Hajjo." She knew Hajjo would give her an earful, something she wasn't ready for. But also she hated the fact that she had to do all they wanted her to, and it didn't matter wether she liked it or not.

"Ohh, is that it?" Hajjo asked sarcastically and placed her hands on her hips. "Then I'll bathe you mysef, Fadimatu. Get up quickly!"

Hajjo walked to where she was and Fatima Zarah screamed at the pitch of her voice. "For Allah's sake, what is this, Hajjo?" She whined and Ammi laughed before she stood onto her feet.

"I'll leave you with Hajjo, she knows the right way to make you do things you don't want to." And she was out of the room in the blink of an eye, Fatima Zarah wished she could follow her afterwards. But Hajjo being Hajjo.

She stood up as well and shrugged off Hajjo's hands from her shoulder. "I'll take my bathe, Hajjo. Please ask someone to bring in my breakfast, I'm so hungry that it can end my life." She mumbled some incoherent words and walked to the bathroom, silently closing the door behind her.