I kept holding Tae throughout the night. My arms were slung around him, never letting go. I could feel him move uneasily in his sleep. At one point of the night, he turned around, snugging his head against my chest and wrapping his arms around my waist. I kissed his forehead softly then I fell asleep once more.
We woke up the next morning in the same position. Tae's breathing had become more regular but his grip on my shirt was still tight, as if he was afraid that I would walk away and leave him on the bed, all alone.
As he was lying there, I was looking at his face and thinking about last night. How could these three words trigger him in such a bad way so unexpectedly ? I let my fingers run through his hair. It felt fluffy and thick. Thick... my thoughts kept drifting back to last night.
Tae's length had been between my legs. If I had eased down a bit, only a few inches, I would have woken up this morning, no longer a virgin. But then I had said these three words, I had told him that I loved him... and instantly he had let go of me, backing away.
Nevertheless, the thought about Tae's dick so close to my virgin spot aroused me. I felt the blood rush towards my lower body.
Carefully I brushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes. I wanted to get a better look at his face. But Tae's face was torn. It looked like he was in pain.
My fingers caressed his cheek and came to a rest on the mole on his lip. I leaned in and kissed the spot. His lips were full and smooth. I loved to kiss them.
When I opened my eyes again, Tae's eyes were open. He was staring at me. I moved my head away from his face, whispering to him : « Good morning, love ».
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Tae kept looking at me, not saying a word. Was he angry? Sad? I could not read his face.
His arms pulled me closer and he buried his face in my chest. Hugging me. « I dreamt that you left me. I dreamt that you did not want me anymore after... », he did not end his sentence.
I pulled his face up, so that we were on the same height, looking in each other's eyes. « You know that you are beautiful ? », I asked in a thin voice.
He blinked. « What? »
« You are beautiful, Taehyung. Your eyes are the brightest I have ever seen ». I kissed him softly on the tip of his nose. I touched his right eye. Like a snail he closed the eye before I could touch it. « This is one of my favourite parts of your body. I love how different your two eyes are ».
« I don't know what happened yesterday but please understand, I won't leave you. Ever. Hurt me as much as you have to. Beat me down if it helps you. Scream at me. Do whatever you have to until you believe me when I say that I won't leave you. Ever. I will never move from your side ». As I was talking, I was looking at Tae concerned. He had not been arguing when I had called him without using the honorifics.
