Frozen || H.S (discontinued)

4

I rose the next morning feeling like my thoughts had emptied my mind, they did, but I was so exhausted that I didn't bare to move for another few minutes.

I stood up stretching and sighed feeling my stomach flip. Maybe I should eat? I haven't eaten for 24 hours.

I stood there thinking of what I could do before I went down to the restaurant, I took a whiff of myself and screwed my nose. I smell horrible, I thought.

I dragged myself to my bathroom bag, grabbing shampoo and dove shampoo. My hair was a knotted mess and it needed a good washing.

I trotted into my new bathroom for the next week and sighed to myself trying to figure out how the shower worked. Finally I figured out how to turn it on to hot and cold. I waited for the water to heat up and undressed. I took the longest shower of my life but possibly the most relaxed and nicest one as well. I've never had this proper of a shower it felt magical in a way, it sounds ridiculous but it's true and I felt so much better as I stepped out of the foggy shower doors and dried my body and hair.

I dressed into my normal clothes not bothering to dress up nice like was going to a fancy dinner.

I finally got into my blue denim jeans, white and red shirt, I looked into the mirror and shrugged, I couldn't be bothered to put on makeup.

I never felt insecure, I was always complemented on my smooth, perfect skin, so I never wore makeup, only when it was really necessary.

I walked to the door leaving and locking my room. I head towards the stairs instead of the elevator, the few extra steps could do me good, I have been sleeping all of the 24 hours.

I arrived at the restaurant, getting a big smell of Italian desserts and pastry's, god how I missed this smell. Then another memory took over my mind, meeting Harry at the table out on the porch, it was away from other tables and we claimed it to be our spot because of the beautiful view out to all the roses and tulips, the perfect green grass, people walking their dogs and the flourist stand at the side of the path connecting to the lake.

I remember the last morning we spent together, we knew it was our last morning together but we didn't want it to be took over by sadness because that wasn't worth our last moments together. We sat down and ordered our usual breakfast, I ordered the usual fruit bowl and cinnamon. Harry of course ordered a plate of waffles, it was actually his favourite food, that's what made me adore him endlessly and how much I adored my baby boy back home.

Where he told me for the last time how much he would miss me and love me forever. He promised he would come back to me and we would fall in love, I had doubts before that but hearing him say he promised, I was so in love that I trusted him and I knew it was going to happen, but when I left after a few years I gave up, I felt miserable and dreaded living. He made me feel things, things that would make me feel whole like we where the only two left on the earth. The last time he touched me my skin would instantly ease into his touch and how comfortable I felt around him. The way he used to say how much he loved me, told me I was the only one he would love with all his heart and how much he gave me his heart to not break, I took it and cherished it forever, I have mine back hoping he wouldn't crush it. I know he never crushed it or broke it, I could see it in his green shiny eyes how much he took care of it. Held onto like his newborn baby. I could feel him touch me, my imagination running wild and feeling he's touch again felt amazing, his gentle, soft hands caress mine as he takes it and kisses it with his pink plump lips lingering there for a while, smiling to himself, feeling a tear drop into the backs of my hand, taking his hands in mine and promising is never forget and I would always love him, always and forever.

I didn't even know I was crying at this point. I was sitting at our spot at the cafe, sobbing and vulnerable, he still makes me feel things to this day and I know he is out there holding my heart and hugging it, hoping I'll never forget, I haven't, I just hope he hasn't either.

I ran up to my room almost drenched in my own tears, no one made me feel his way and it felt strange. He truely knew me too well and made me feel comfortable and open up, even when he wasn't around. I lay in the bed for a while not feeling tired, just weak.

After composing myself from crying, I sat up and turned on the hotel tv, forgetting every show was in Italian and I couldn't understand it.
I huffed and turned it off again. Looking outside the window, I sat right in front of the beach and it looked beautiful and stunning, all the people below looked gorgeous. Italy was such an amazing country, I fell in love with the place back in 1993 and again now.

I walked over to my little kitchenette and made myself so coffee on the stove. After pouring it into a little mug I walked back out onto the porch, sitting down on the beach chair and sinking into the chair, feeling a wave of relaxation hitting me and making me motivated. I sat up slightly getting a good idea to go out on the beach to wash my thoughts away and have a good time by myself.

I hurried to my bag, throwing everything around till I found my dark red two piece that hooked around to the front. I slipped them on and wrapped the hotels towel around me running out the door and down to the beaches front.

Sinking my feet in the beaches sand I once spent most of my time at, laying with Harry or splashing around with him like we where 5 years old. I ran in the water and just floated there for a while. Looking up to the sky and watching birds flock past, chirping and the sun felt wonderful against my skin. I felt at peace for once, just floating in the water and forgetting all worries.

Suddenly I felt insecure, I felt a pair of eyes set on me, it felt as if I was being watched. I sat up in the water and looked around, no one was there. I was alone yet felt strange, feeling as if a pair of eyes where set on me, yet I didn't feel uncomfortable, I felt safe, the eyes burned into me yet, they didn't make me scared.

I asked out into the beach front to see if I could get a better look if anyone was around the beach, still, no one. I felt like I needed to leave, it suddenly felt wrong being alone out here on the beach, I slowly picked up my towel, keeping my eyes out for somebody, I jogged back to my room and hid in the bathroom, feeling weird and scared. What if they where here because of Scott? Did they want to hurt me because I was alone?

I was so scared that I started crying, curling up in a ball. My life was a mess and today felt like I drained all my tears out. I decided to take a long relaxed shower, I took my pyjamas, deciding to go to bed early, still I was crying, I felt overwhelmed, like coming here was probably not a good idea.

I got into the shower familiar wig my surroundings and trumping on the tap, the warm, fresh water felt incredible against me skin, soothing me.

I stepped out drenched in water from the shower, instantly drying myself and slipping into my pyjamas, I wondered out from the bathroom, to my bed, slowly lying down and under my sheets, staring up at the ceiling wishing I never had that swim, it still felt wrong, I didn't cry this time but I felt miserable.

As soon as I thought I was going to start crying, I drifted to sleep forgetting my thoughts.

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This was long but it has more detail
Didn't help that I was listening to sad music
Hope you enjoyed it nonetheless :)

-Chelsea x