Grace To Grass. (A Nigerian Story.)

13.

.........

"Azraa" That's the first message he sent.

"What was that?" was the second.

"Come on Azraa" and the third.

"We can't keep avoiding each other, or rather keep avoiding me" and so on the messages went.

I read them over and over again, not knowing even what to reply to his messages.

Deep down I did want to talk to him about it, but sincerely, I was scared of the conversation we were going to have.

Why?

Because it's a guilty one. Maybe not for him, but for me.

"I'm not avoiding you" that's the only thing I could type. Partially I was happy he wasn't online, because that means I get to delay the conversation a bit longer, but my hope soon died down as he read the message two minutes later.

"Okay. Then why haven't you been talking to me. Atimes I try talking to you, but you just shove my words to side and answer with one liners" he wrote.

"Karan, how can you talk like that? Honestly how do you want me to feel comfortable after what happened between us?" I wrote back, feeling kind of agitated that he takes it nonchalantly.

"You mean the kiss? If that's what you're worried about azraa, then I'll tell you wallahi that was barely anything or a kiss" my lips literally hung open from his statement.

Wow!

And here I was battlingy my head off like I committed a whole major crime, but to him its nothing?

Wow!

"so it was nothing?" I ask once adjusting my sitting.

"Look azraa, what happened has happened and nothing we can both do can change that. It's neither of us fault, it happened at am emotional moment, even from me. For a while I didn't think about anything. All that was there was you, and something pulling me closer like it did you, so please let's not trying to blame ourselves or feel guilty"

I remained silent. He was right, it happened and it happened already, theres nothing I can do to change that fact. No amount of guilt could wipe the fact the karan and I kissed.

"I guess so" I replied back.

"Yeah. If I may confess I don't regret anything that happened" he took me by surprise as I widened my eye.

Ehen!

"I don't understand" I needed to understand the full length of what he's saying.

"Azraa, you're beautiful, smart, matured, sexy and so much more, that lately and even before the kiss it's been hard to resist those facts" karan wrote.

I don't know if I'm supposed to feel happy or angry that he just called me beautiful or sexy. Yes, a part of me is excited that he said I'm beautiful but then the sexy part.

Which technically means lust.

So is karan lustful towards me?

"Karan you're not supposed to be saying stuff's like that. We're just friends and friends don't say these kinds of stuffs to each other"

Of course, karan is handsome, that's a definite. Yes he's hot too and if I'm to recall past memories of he and I, i would definitely be saying the same thing right now. But I can't let that overrule me, the past is the past.