i n t h e s h a d o w s - a z r i e l (slow updates)

Chapter 15

Eileánóir blinked twice. "What do you mean I'm the one doing this to you?"

Azriel bit his lip, stress taking the lead in his brain. "How did you not notice my behavior around you?" His hands were sweating. He was so scared she's gonna reject him, he couldn't think straight. He didn't want to confess now because they didn't know each other for a long time but he couldn't keep it to himself anymore and with the war coming, he didn't want to die without telling her he loves her. 

"Azriel, I don't unders-"

"I fell for you Eileánóir, I fell hard," he cut her off, admitted his love for her at last. He couldn't look at her in the eyes, too scared of her reaction. He knew that a mating bond could be only one-sided and he was scared it was the case here.

Eileánóir couldn't process what was happening right now. Her heart was pounding like crazy, her mind was a mess. She couldn't believe her ears. 

I fell for you Eileánóir, I fell hard

She could hear his voice in her head, repeating this phrase again and again. She could see his shadows going crazy around the both of them. She couldn't speak, couldn't trust her voice. 

"I understand if you don't feel the same thing but I had to confess. I'll just leave you here now," he began walking to the front door. Eileánóir was frozen in place, she couldn't move to go and run after him. She heard the door shut down, meaning Azriel had gotten out of the house. The noise of the door shutting down took her back to reality and she immediately ran to get to him but when she opened the door, Azriel was already gone. 

He's gone 

**

"What do you mean she rejected you?" Azriel heard Rhysand speaking in his head. They were in the house of Velaris with all the Inner Circle. Cassian was trying to speak with Nesta as always, Mor was trying to understand what was happening with Azriel while Amren was looking at all of them, observing. Feyre was nowhere to be seen. 

"You heard well, she doesn't love me but what's new. I know I shouldn't have confessed now," he said to his High Lord.  

"There's something fishy in this situation. Don't lose hope," Rhysand said to his spymaster, trying to cheer him up.

Azriel sighed and his gaze met Mor's. He looked at her for a few seconds before disappearing in his room, not wanting to see anyone. He lost his mate twice. He knew it was a good idea not to eat her pancakes, making them disappearing with his shadows without her noticing. He didn't want her to accept the bond without knowing. It would have been a nightmare if he had eaten her food. 

"Azriel," he heard Mor's voice. She was in front of his door. 

"Go away Mor," he told her harshly so he could be alone. 

"I'm not gonna leave you alone if you don't tell me what happened between the two of you." Azriel sighed and opened his door. 

"If you insult her, even once, I'm never gonna talk to you anymore," he warned her, letting her enter in his room. 

"I spoke with Rhysand yesterday, I don't hate her anymore," she admitted. Azriel looked up to her after he sat on his bed. 

"Do you know?" he asked her, knowing that, if indeed she knew Eileánóir was his mate, she would understand what he was talking about. 

"Yes," she sighed. "Look, I'm sorry to have reacted like that and talked like that to her but... I didn't want anyone to break your heart," she looked at him. There was a silence before she talked again. "I know I broke your heart but... something in me just couldn't work but I'm glad you could find your mate," she finally smiled at him but her smile faded when she saw his long time friend just broke into tears. The only time where she saw him cry was when Eileánóir died and it was already shocking but seeing him from close, crying his eyes out in front of her was heartbreaking. 

"Az...," she didn't know if she should take him in her arms because he wasn't really the type to like people touching him but these were the moments where she really wanted to show him affection. She finally gave in and took him in her arms, patting his back while he cried. 

After long minutes, he finally stopped crying and she looked at him so he could explain why he was in that state. 

"She doesn't love me, Mor..." he told her, his voice cracking. She frowned. 

"What do you mean she doesn't love you? Azriel, she's your mate." Mor frowned. A girl rejecting his mate was very rare and she could see that Eileánóir looked interested in Azriel anyway. She even talked about it with Feyre. So it was impossible to believe what Azriel just told her. 

"I confessed to her, I didn't want to but I couldn't keep it to myself anymore," he said. "I didn't tell her I was her mate though," he admitted. "I don't want to force her to love me, please don't tell her I'm her mate, ever," he begged her. 

"It's okay Az, I won't tell her but I'm sure she loves you," Mor told her friend with a little smile. 

"No, she doesn't love me. She didn't say anything when I confessed," he lowered his head. 

"What happened exactly?"

That's how they spent the night, Azriel talking about the time he spent with Eileánóir and how he came to confess while Mor tried to find Eileánóir acted like that. 

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Am I back again? I don't know haha

I'm trying to get on the app more often to get myself to write again but it's hard as I kind of forgot what I wrote and I constantly have to read the whole story over again. 

Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this part and sorry for the cliffhanger in the previous chapter :)