i n t h e s h a d o w s - a z r i e l (slow updates)

Chapter 17

After dressing up and putting some makeup, Feyre winnowed both of them in the middle of the city. The High Lady knew where they could go tonight, it was a club that she goes a lot with Mor before Eileánóir arrived. Actually... Perhaps she could call Mor and go out, the three of them? She could fix Eileánóir and Mor's problems with each other. She didn't like that her best friends couldn't get well with each other because they just don't talk with each other about things and only judge on things they've heard or seen. 

Eileánóir looked at her surroundings then was pulled by Feyre to a club. In front of the club was someone she knew too well. Mor was standing in a red tight dress. She must admit that she was really beautiful like that, it made her mad. How can some girls be hot as hell like that and then there's... her? She watched Feyre and Mor hugging from afar. She didn't want to go near her anymore. The last time she spoke with Mor, the blonde girl had told her to go to the summer court and never come back. Why did Feyre think it would be a good idea to ask Mor to come? Eileánóir thought that her best friend wanted her to change her mind and do something so she could forget her problems for one night. Bringing Mor wasn't the best idea for that. Azriel must have told her that she didn't react when he confessed and now she's gonna kill her. 

"Hello Eil'," she heard Mor say from the entrance of the club. Was she hallucinating? Was Mor actually waving at her with a big smile? Perhaps it's just the lack of sleep finally getting in her head. 

She approached her best friend and greeted politely the blonde girl. "Please don't act like that around me," Mor said. "I wanted to apologize for all the things I've said earlier. I didn't know all the story," the blonde girl smiled at her. Eileánóir frowned. What did she mean by "all the story"? She brushed it off as Feyre pulled both of them in the club, going straight to the bar to get drinks. 

"Feyre... I don't know if it's a good idea for me to drink," Eileánóir stated. "You know how I get when I drink a bit too much," she said, thinking of all the times she got drunk with Feyre. The alcohol made her really emotional and she could tell all of her problems to the first person that she meets. 

"Don't worry Eil', you can handle much more now that you're a fae! Now drink," She handed a colorful cocktail to her best friend. Eileánóir sighed, knowing that soon she's gonna tell Mor all of her problems even if she doesn't want to then began to drink. She didn't know what was in that cocktail but it was really good. That's not gonna help her avoiding alcohol tonight. 

"So..." Mor began when they all sat around a table. "How have you been doing Eil'?" She looked at the red-headed girl, unsure whether it was a good idea to do as if nothing happened between the two of them. Eileánóir was surprised by Mor's question. Since when did she care? Her blood was already boiling when she remembered that Mor tried to apologize. Eileánóir, too, had to try and be nice to Mor. 

"Well... I like staying where I'm staying these days," she said, not telling exactly where, as she remembers that it's supposed to be Azriel's secret place. "I feel kind of lonely there now though," she admitted, lowering her head. She felt her best friend's hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry to bring this subject but is it because of Azriel?" Her heart skip a beat at the mention of his name. She didn't know why she hadn't reacted when he confessed. Does she love him? She didn't know. She didn't know that feeling, it was new for her. She didn't what it felt like to be in love with someone, to love. She needed to know if she loved him or not. She couldn't stay like that, avoiding him at all costs. How will it be when she'll have to come back to the house and be around him after what happened? She won't be able to bear it. But she was lost. How could someone like him, love someone like her? Is it because now she's a fae? Is it because she has power? It couldn't be because of her personality nor her looks. She wouldn't believe it. 

"Eileánóir?" She heard Mor calling for her. She snapped back to reality and saw that she was in tears. She felt Mor's hand on her wrist then she pulled her outside, leaving Feyre clueless about the situation because she hadn't seen that her best friend was crying. 

"Hey, what happened? Why are you crying?" Mor had a clue of why Eileánóir was crying but she wanted to hear it from her too, know both of the versions of the story.

It was silent for a few minutes, the only sound was Eileánóir crying then her tears stopped and she could breathe normally again. "I'm lost Mor," she finally said. She didn't know why she was sharing this to Mor as she hadn't even drunk a full drink so it wasn't because of alcohol. She breathed fresh air then Mor made her sit on the pavement and sit with her. 

"Go on." 

"I don't even know where to begin," Eileánóir said, finally looking at Mor which smiled. "Perhaps by the beginning, it would be easier for me to understand." 

That's how she began explaining everything. From where Azriel had saved her in the Autumn Court where she had felt weirdly safe around him even if he had a dark aura and she hadn't known him. She told her when Azriel calmed her when she had a panic attack at the art store. She didn't tell her where he had brought her though, just hinting that it was somewhere nobody would have found them. She told her how she felt around him during the time she spent with all of them. How she had the urge to protect him during the battle in the Summer Court. How she hadn't cared that she was dying as long as he was fine. How her heart broke when Feyre told her that Azriel had loved the blonde girl for his entire life. How angry she felt when she realized that Mor had Azriel to his knees and yet she had never answered his signs. How good she had felt, talking to him about her problems. How she was only able to sleep when he was around or else she would get nightmares again. How wonderful the time she spent with him at the cottage was. And finally, how dumb she felt when she didn't know how to react when he confessed to her. 

At this point, she didn't care to whom she told this, she just had to take it out, telling everything to someone so she could gather her feelings and try to understand them. She heard Mor sighed then taking her hands. 

"You seem to be whipped," she finally said with a little smile. Eileánóir frowned. "What do you mean?" Her brain didn't want to understand what Mor was trying to tell her. 

"You're in love with him Eil'," 

"I can't be," Eileánóir said, denying her well-known feelings. She knew she loved him but she didn't want to acknowledge the fact that she loved him because it would make her feelings much more real than they already were. 

"You have to face it," Mor looked at Eileánóir. "You can't avoid your feelings anymore," she sighed. "With the war coming, you should confess, we don't know how much time we have left." 

Eileánóir sighed as well. "I'm too scared." 

Mor stood up, a bit pissed. "What do you mean you're scared?" she raised her voice. "He cried in my arms for hours because he thought you had rejected him, how can you be scared? He loves you Eileánóir!" she shouted the last sentence. 

The red-headed girl stepped back, scared of Mor. "Look Eil', I've never seen Az like that in my entire life and the Cauldron knows how long I've been alive." She finally calmed down."The thing I want you to understand is that you don't have to be scared of your feelings nor Azriel. He loves you so much, I've never seen a love so strong and yet you couldn't see it." Mor sighed and sit down again. After a few minutes, Eileánóir finally spoke. She stood up, looking at Mor confidently. 

"I'm gonna talk to him."

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Hey!! How are you doing? I hope everyone is safe at home! 

I'll have a little bit more of time to write so I hope I'm gonna be able to post more often 

Have a nice day!