Stronger || PJM

Ch18: Nothing To Lose

Jimin sits on the swing in the backyard, feet dangling as he watches Jungkook playing around with a huge Doberman. Lee is quiet beside him, eyes staring into blank space.

"What's his name?" He asks, pulling her out of a trance.

Lee blinks, looking at Jimin. "Who? The dog?"

"Yeah."

"Thanos."

Jimin freezes. "Thanos?"

"Jungkook named him."

"Of course."

Silence.

"Hey, Lee," Jimin says, thinking for a second before speaking. "Where do you know Taehyung from?"

"An old friend," She says, staring ahead at the distance, "That night... I was drunk and said a lot of shit. Forget about it. I barely remember half of what I said."

"You talked about a guy... " Jimin trails off.

She turns her head to him. "What guy?"

"Hoseok, I think."

"What else?"

Jimin hesitates, her gaze unsettling. It makes him feel like as if she's interrogating him, and only the thought makes him shiver.

"That he died," He says in a whisper, as if saying it louder would somehow hurt her.

"Okay," She casually says, looking away, "Nevermind."

Jimin bites his lip, his head ramming with thoughts. There's something about her past that makes him curious. Who is Hoseok? How did he die? What has she got to do with it? What has Taehyung got to do with it? But he knows she won't open up easily. Maybe if he talked about himself first?

With a sigh, Jimin speaks. "My mom died when I was seven. She was a ballerina."

Lee looks at him again, face blank.

"I loved to watch her dance," He continues, "And I wanted to be like her, and this is why I started doing ballet at six. When I told my friends I do ballet, they made fun of me. I mean, they still do, but back then I never understood why they did. What was so bad about dancing?"

He gulps. "To be honest, I don't remember much about mom. I just remember how much I loved her and looked up to her. I don't remember much about how dad was like before she died, too. I just know that he wasn't so... sad. I barely see him. Till this day, he works too much so he has something else to think about. It makes me mad, honestly. It's been more than 10 years and he's still being like that. When will he get over it? My step-mom, you met her at the competition."

He glances at Lee and she nods in confirmation.

"I hated her," He pauses, "I don't know if I still do. I hated the thought of someone else taking mom's place, and I lived my whole life trying to pick out the bad things in that woman so I hate her. What's funny is that I didn't find one bad thing, and that frustrated me even more. At some point I thought she was only putting up an act. Only soon did I realise how immature I've been and how nice she actually is."

He shrugs. "I'm an idiot."

Turning his head to Lee, he finds her completely silent, looking back at him with an expressionless face.

"You are," She says and he chuckles softly.

Jimin purses his lips, waiting for her to say something, and he can almost hear her contemplating in her mind whether she should speak up or not. Eventually, she does.

"I never knew my mom," She says, "My grandma said she died. My father used to say she left. I don't know, and I really don't care. Anyway, my dad was an asshole."

She looks at Jimin. "A total b*tch."

Jimin gasps. "I don't think you're supposed to talkㅡ"

"He used to hit me," She says as Jimin goes silent, "He used to drink everyday, come home drunk and beat the shit out of me. Sometimes he aimed at Jungkook, but I never let him. I'd rather take the beating than my little brother."

Her eyes stay on Jungkook for a while, giggling uncontrollably as Thanos licks his face. Jimin's eyes follow hers, and he watches, too.

She smiles. "One day, I somehow ended up in an underground fight club. Namjoon was fighting. We talked and he promised me he'd teach me how to fight. And he did. You know that place we practice at? It used to be his before he gave it to me. Anyway, I started fighting for money. And it was good money. I wanted to leave that shit hole."

She takes in a breath, leaning back and crossing her arms. "I remember the first time I hit my dad. I don't remember what made me do it exactly, but I remember so clearly his face when I punched him in the face. After that, he was reluctant about hitting me. He realised I could beat the shit out of him back if he dared to touch me again. And that was when he started getting it out on Jungkook when I wasn't home. And Jungkook wouldn't tell me so I had no idea."

She smiles again. "Then there was this guy. Jung Hoseok. He was practicing with us, too. Taehyung was his friend. The two of them signed up together. They were really close despite the age gap. Hoseok and I were 18 back then when we met. And then... "

She stops, her eyes darkening. Jimin's eyes soften, scanning her face.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," He says softly.

She scoffs, shaking her head. "I told you too much already. Wouldn't make a difference if I continue the story. Plus, I know you're dying to know what happened."

She raises an eyebrow at him suggestively, and Jimin grins, slyly nodding.

"I'm really curious."

"Okay," She says, staring back ahead, "I've got nothing to lose anyway."

---

A/N: this chapter sucks I hate it so much it didn't even exceed 1000 words nfjdhjdhd

Next chapter is gonna be filled with angst :3

How do you think the book is gonna end, btw (Definitely not asking because I didn't plan an ending yet and want ideas)