Puthir

Enna Aachi?

Caution : This chapter contains issues regarding  childbirth that maybe sensitive and inappropriate to certain readers.

Puthir 2

She moved nearer to him, he was still slumped with his head between his hands. She hugged him and whispered, 'unggelku, ungge Kannama vendama?'

With that question, he came up with teary eyes and told, 'ennaku Nee venum, marupadiyum ennaleh... Ennaleh mudiyathu Mullai'

'Athe..athe.. Hmm athe nadenthu 2 varshem aaguthu, Athan doctor sonnanggeleh... Try panelamnu', she reasoned with him.

'Try panelamnu sonneh doctor thaan, marupadiyum appadiyeh avurthuku vaipum ireke sonnangge', he told her as a matter of fact.

'Aana nadenthey aavumnu sollulehye, nadekelaamnu thaane sonnange', she tried again.

He couldn't stay angry with her for long, he kissed her forehead and whispered, 'Un uyirku, 1% avathu irendalum, naa othukeh maaten. Innime ithe patti pesadhe, inthe maari paanadhe.
Yen valkayleh anthe 10 naal 10 vinadhi. Naa marekeveh maaten.
Nee illadhe ore vaalkeye anthe 10 naal 10 vinadhi  anubuvachithen.
Naragam di athe.
Nee eppe kannu mulipehnu ovuru nimishamum konjum konjuma naa sethen. Ovuru vaathiyum Mughil aluvum podhu, naa evlo kevalamana Appa'nu thonum. Aven Amma'ku ippadi nadenthu naan thaaneh karnam, yen suyanalam thaaneh'.

She hugged his arm and kissed his shoulder again. He took in a deep breath, and pushed her hands that's trying to calm him. Exhaustedly he told, 'vidhu Mullai, nee ippadi pani pani kollere di..
Aama di! Nee thotha naa..
Naa naana illeh..
Yeneke unneh thaandi eduvum yosike mudiyathu!
Unn sandosamthaan mukiyam ennaku..
Eppayum..
Athu unnekum theriyum..
Appohlam ithu nenecha rombe perumaya irukum.
Unneke nalla purushena irenden..
Aana..
Ore manushana illeh..
Kevelamana jenmam di naa!
Yellam yen tappu!
Marupadiyum enne atheye seyeh vaikathe di!' he told her, defeated.

He knows he is a putty in her hands. Only she could do that to him. He could never deny her anything, anywhere, in and out of their room.

'Nipateringgelah! Aniki nadendathu yaaru tappum illeh, yaarum athuku karnamum illehnge! Appadi nadakumnu yaarum ethir paakeleh!
Nambe poneh ellam check-up'layum ore perchene illehnu thaan doctor sonnangge, Aana persavum aniki anthe maari anuthu...athu..yaarum ethir paakeleh, Athaan doctors sonnanggeleh silasamayam inthe maadiri complications varumnu, ithulam sadarnema nadakurthu thaannu sonnangge leh..... ', she told trying to talk him out of guilt.

He angryly pulled out his arm from her hands, and hissed angrily right at her face, 'ethu?!
Mughil porende odeneh aluvuleh
10 vinadhi...
Ore satham illeh...
Nee moochi pechi illame poithe..
Ore pakkam doctor Mughilleh innomo panneh..
Innore pakkam mayangeneh unneke fits vareh...
Naa pathen di!
Ennaku onnum purileh..
Yen pulleh..
Yen pondati..
Rende perum..
Yen Kann munnadi...
Orei nerathuleh..', he was transported to that day at the hospital again.

He was with her the entire time.
He saw everything!
He heard everything!
Then, he saw nothing...
He heard nothing...
For 10 seconds his world stopped.

He hated his life that moment.
He regretted every thing in his life.

He regretted marrying her.
He regretted falling in love with her.
He regretted making love to her.
He regretted being ecstatic when she told about Mughil to him the first time.

He shouldn't have married her!
She wouldn't have to go through this if he hadn't married her.

His son wouldn't have to suffer like this because of his stupid father!
His stupid, selfish, idiot father!

Both of them don't deserve him...
They deserve a better life!
And..
Its not with him!
Both of them wouldn't be like this if he didn't exist!

She saw his misery in his eyes.
She saw the hell he went through in his silent tears..

He turned away from her, and continued to pour out, 'Mughil aluvere satham kekame...
Nee anthe maari thudikirethu paathu..
Yen ulagameh irenderchi..
Angge naa thirumbi poghe virumbuleh!'

She kissed his shoulder and tried to calm him.

'Athan, ellam seriya ayirchileh, Naanum Mughilum ippeh ungge kude thaaneh irekum. Yen innum atheyeh nenechikithu irukingge?', she reminded him that everything is fine now. Though, she is also crying, looking at him like this.

She wished things were different that day.
She wished she hadn't asked him to be with her in the labour room that day.
She wished he hadn't have too see all that.
She wished she could turn back time for him.

'Aama, ippeh yen kude irukingge, Aana anniki?
Avanehyum Unnehyum ore wardleh onnah paakeh rombe.. rombe! sandosama irundechi di!
Ore pakkam kathuneh pondati muchi pechi illame ireka..
Pakathele pethe pulleh! ' he paused to look at her.

'Mughil aluthukithe irepan,
Un pakathele vatcha thaan amaidiya aavan..
10 naalu!
Naa yen innum uyirode irekennu sandegama irendechi..
Illeh sethu naragathuleh thaan irukenu kude thonechi..
Ithu.. Ithu unneke SADARNAMA?!', he shouted at her sarcasticly.

'Mughil...', he breathed out his name, remembering the agony his newborn child has to go through.

'Avenuku vere paal othukuleh, ellathiyum vaandi ethervan...thaaipaal thaan kudekanumnu doctor sollitangge.... Appeh... Athu... Aveneh... Nee vere anthe maari... Sethuthen di!', he couldn't continue those words. He didn't want to go there anymore. Not ever! Never!

He don't have to, she knows how they managed to feed her firstborn while she was still unconscious for that 10 days. It's not something wants to talk about, yes, she couldn't remember the first time she fed her child.

She have no memories of it, no memories at all on how it felt for the first time. No doubt she started to feed him on her own once she became conscious and she knows how it felt but the pain of knowing her child had been feeding from her for the first 10 days of his life without she holding him in her arms, without her looking into those beautiful eyes, without hearing him cooing to her, without kissing his forehead. It killed her too.

He saw her crying remembering those days. Hugged her gently and told, 'Podhum Mullai, Mughil podhum namakku, naa risk edukeh maaten. Vendam di. Marupadiyum ippadi avarthuku vaipu iruku'nu terinjum, naa eppadi othukuven... Maaten. Inthe jenmathuleh, unneke naa.. Ennaku Nee.. Namaku Mughil. Avola thaan. Ithu podhum.'

Still tearing she asked, 'Appeh.. Kannama?'

He closed his eyes and laid on the bed exhausted, pulling her on him, 'Ennaku inthe Chellama pothum', he kissed her and pulled her into his embrace.. 'toonge Mullai', he told patting her head on his chest.

She decided not to probe him more, not now. Smiling inside, she realised, he never told he didn't want 'Kannama'.
She knows, he would love to have a little girl, but he won't risk it for her. She hugged him tighter and kissed his chest, loving him more every day for his selflessness.

TBC

* Disclaimer : The medical condition mentioned above is purely imaginary and has NO SCIENTIFIC /MEDICAL  REFERENCES WHATSOEVER. It has been designed as such for the purpose of this FF only.