PAPER HEARTS

05

I flinch at the sound of a door slamming in the distance, my fingers tightening around the hilt of the knife that's been under my grasp for the past few minutes. It's been about three minutes since the faucet upstairs had been turned off, but my heart doesn't slow down to its usual pace just yet.

My earlobes strain to catch the sounds of his footsteps trudging down the wooden stairs, and when it does, a sinking feeling invades my chest and I find myself fighting to catch a breath. I try straightening out the frown on my face, and to dim down the frightened glow in my eyes as I focus on the blade whilst slicing a few grape tomatoes.

Again, I nearly jolt from my seat at the table when the silent screech of a chair being dragged reaches my ears. Then, a heavy groan, followed by the clink of Minjun's fancy bracelets colliding against the glass surface. He's silent as he waits for me to get him his breakfast and lunch ready, I'm frozen in my place out of shock and paranoia.

It's probably well over my time to get to my first class, probably too late to even think about buying myself some comfort food on my way there. Somehow, just the intimidating aura that oozes out of his presence makes me a figurine sculpted out of ice.

"Jaehwa," His sharp voice cuts scissors through the silent battle in my head and my fingers begin to quiver, "I'm getting late."

Oh, right. Our housekeeper had taken a day off today, the reason being one of her cousins' unforeseen death. On a normal day, she's the messiah of the stove and whatever comes out of it. But because the sole owner has been absent, Minjun's breakfast has not managed to boil, fry and simmer itself out of the empty vessels. I don't dare say a word against his remark though I want to tell him that I'm getting myself a whole week's worth of delays because of him.

I bite the inside of my cheek as I resume my movements. I don't even know why I'm randomly slicing tomatoes when I should be stood by the bus stop with my bag, my tracksuit and shoes in my hold.

"I'm talking to you."

Jae, stop.

The sober part of my head begs me to let this go - for my own sake. It's alright to miss my classes for one day. What does matter, is my safety when I sit under the same roof as this guy. But maybe ignoring that small word of advice from the smallest corner of my mind is a critical mistake. Because the next second, an aggressive grasp holds me by the chin and I let out a whimper as Minjun compels me to look at him.

My tears spring free when I notice the obvious hint of wrath - the revival of the monster that's devoured his soul through the slits in his eyes.

"Please," I cry when his nails dig into my cheeks, sure to leave a mark for at least until Ryoko points it out to me later, "I-I didn't mean to!"

A throb shoots through my stomach and I let out a feeble sob as I try to endure it. I've been so hungry, so in need of food to fill the void - both in my stomach and in my mind - but I wear it until I reach my breaking point. I can't eat.

Not until I'm as pretty and as skinny as all those girls in my year.

Minjun jostles me away and I push myself off my seat, using my other hand to massage the sides of my face tenderly. It's not until then do I realize that I've been crying the whole time; it hurts. My chest feels like it's being torn apart, my head feels as if an invisible drummer sits inside to wreak havoc, my insides burn, and my ears are droning. I press my hands over my ears, creating an obstruction to the crash that follows Minjun's violent act of flipping the chair over. He is angry and I know that this time it's truly on me.