PAPER HEARTS

09

The slow whirring of the vending machine as it spits out a stream of boiling hot coffee into the paper cup keeps my eyes from drawing to a close. My stomach hurts from being too hungry, my head, from the living radio box that is Ryoko.

"-nd oh my gosh, there's this guy from ...? Australia? I don't know, but his accent is to die for," She gushes, "He takes informatics just like I do and guess what? guess what?"

"What," I grumble slowly, pulling out a tissue and wrap it around the cup as I hold it.

"He's a dancer!" She squeals, her hands move to cup her cheeks as they turn a bright shade of pink, "Oh my god, his voice is so hot too, I think I'm going to get it tattooed on my forehead -"

I drown out her rambling when a sharp twinge of heat and pain scissors through my abdomen. My eyebrows furrow as I bring an arm around my torso, holding my stomach as if it's going to tear apart.

Unintentionally, listening to Ryoko talking about how she may potentially develop a huge crush on this guy, makes forces my thoughts back to Minjun. He didn't remember anything of what he did to me last night. Funny how alcohol helps one numb out the pain, but in turn aids in causing torment to another.

He didn't say a word to me in the morning - I don't think he even paused to acknowledge the breakfast I'd prepared for him. I don't blame him, though, it's just that the stress of having to work as an actor must be taking a toll on him. And knowing that his girlfriend is simply wasting her life away should also put an ample amount of anxiety on his already overflowing plate.

I should do better. I should be better; at least for Minjun.

Subconsciously, I take a long sip out of the piping hot beverage in my hand and end up hissing at the heavy burn it has sizzled on my tongue. My other hand curls into a fist, crushing the schedule sheet that's been in my grasp. I hastily pull the cup away from my lips, holding a hand to my mouth as I whistle out a few puffs of air.

"Oh dear," Ryoko fusses as my eyes begin to water. She pulls out the bottled drink of cold water she'd bought on our way out of the cafeteria and unscrews the lid for me, "Here, drink this."

I give her an appreciative smile before tilting the bottle and tipping some of its content onto my annihilated tongue.

"Better?" Ryoko smiles at me and its the nicest feeling ever, to know that at least in one corner of this rotten world, there is a flame of hope burning to look out for me.

"Much. Thank you," I hand her the bottle, smoothening out the sheet against my oversized hoodie.

"I have double psych now," Ryoko groans, rubbing her face out of frustration, "I hate that class so much because -"

"Aussie doesn't take it," I whisper under my breath, knowing all too well that that's exactly what she wanted to say.

"He takes music," Ryoko continues, her voice becoming bubbly as she starts to whine, "Why did I not opt for music, goddammit!?"

"You don't sing," I point out as I stare at my schedule.

"Still,"

I don't understand how I've been seeing this same sheet for the past six months, but never managed to squeeze the timetable in my memory. Much in contrast to how Ryoko knows her crush's timetable off by heart. I search for the last slot for today.

"I have economics now," A smile grows on my face. The world knows it's easily my best subject.

Ryoko gives me a sarcastic smile before motioning herself barfing. She's hated it ever since she had it as her elective in our first year.