Our Song

•I Found•

From my mind 2 the depths of my soul
I yearn 2 achieve all of my goals
And all of my time will be well spent
On the 1's I miss I will lament

I am not a perfectionist
But I still seek perfection
I am not a great romantic
But yet I yearn 4 affection

Eternally my mind will produce
ways 2 put my talents 2 use
and when I'm done no matter where I've been
I'll yearn 2 do it again.
~Tupac

When I left the mall I went home.

'I kissed Gon. We went on a date. What the fuck'

Plopping down on my bed I think of everything that happened that day.

It was overall perfect. I went out of my comfort zone. Did something I would never do—or thought I would never do— I never did anything like this with Kouta.

My ex. We dated for a while. We both didn't care about the topics of soulmates and we both just... didn't care.

I haven't thought about him since I met Gon. Realizing just how different they are. Total opposites.

I never thought I'd meet someone like Gon. I never thought I'd be hurt so much by Kouta either.

Life is full of surprises.

It sucks caring for someone so much. Caring about them more than yourself to the point when you'd put your problems down just to make the person smile and laugh once again.

Letting them do whatever they want out of anger because you want them to let it out and just be happy again.

Loving so hard that when they finally break up with you, you don't know what to do but and isolate yourself and cry.

I used to have a cheerful attitude and a happy smile I swear it. It's just heartbreaks can change a person.

I never liked the thoughts of soulmates though I lived as if there was no such thing.

I thought Kouta was mine.

Until everyone made me realize the truth. It was hard to believe it so I lied to myself.

Why would he cheat on me? He loves me. He would do no such thing. He loves me. When he's angry he doesn't mean to hurt my feelings and bruise my body. He loves me.

Until I got it through my head that, what was happening wasn't the kind good kind of love.

It was the twisted, selfish, abusive, type of love. I was dumb enough to believe it was true.

I was dumb enough to think he loved me. But now I don't need his love.

I don't have to worry about my heart getting broken again.

I know it's too soon to use the word love and I know that I only know that type of love I grew up with and learned from others but what I feel now is something I can't even explain.

Since the party, it was something for me. I know what that the love that was shown in my last won't be shown in my next relationship.