Pretending to be Married (destiel)

Chapter 41

So Dean couldn't exactly do star-jumps... or run... or dance. He also couldn't walk or sit up or grab his drink. In fact the most he could do was, well, blink. But... he was awake. And for the most part he had a smile on his face. As more and more of the group arrived the smile had turned from genuine to forced. Everyone was saying how glad they were he was okay, no one was telling him what had gone one, and why he couldn't move.

Cas had arrived first, the look on his face a mix of relief and anxiousness. He muttered to Dean about how glad he was awake and how they (they meaning Cas) had felt lost with out him. Cas didn't know if to hug Dean or hold his hand, or even if that would be weird and end with Dean rejecting it, so he did neither. Instead, the three tried to test how much of Dean's physical abilities had come back... just the blinking (and talking if that counts). And just as Dean was about to get put in the picture, others arrived. 

The next 20 minutes were a pattern of a new person coming in, telling Dean how glad they were he was back, then they would stand in a group with the others to discuss what was going on. This drove Dean mad, and what was worse is that he couldn't storm out.

Sam noticed it almost at the exact same time that Cas did. They locked eyes and then turned to see Dean slowly boil over the edge. "ENOUGH!" Dean yelled (not at the loudest he could because he had just woken up from a coma), "can someone tell me what the hell is going on, and why the hell I can't move!" The group moved so that Dean was now involved and explained the story in full. The whole time Cas wanted to hold his hand, reassure him that he knew it was overwhelming but they were going to get through it together. But, he didn't know if that would be weird.

"So, you're telling me you don't know how to fix it?" His temper clearly heard in his voice. Everyone stood in silence for a minute, unsure what to say. "Listen here, boy. This family has been working around the clock, we've barely had 8 hours a night between us, so don't you start your whiny bitching. You may have just woken up, but we have all been dealing with this for days. We will fix this and you best be grateful." And with that bobby left. Ellen smiled at Dean, "you know how he can be," she said before leaving to find her partner.

It was hours later that others started to leave, first Meg and Cam, soon followed by Anne and Charlie. Gabe, Jo, Cas, Dean, and Sam sat (lay) chatting about anything and everything for a while longer. Jo reminded everyone she still had a real life job to do so headed home to sleep before her shift started, Gabe went with her. The three that were left spoke very little but it was comfortable. It was almost like old times, except Dean was (hopefully) temporarily paralysed. They talked about hunting, about tv and generally caught Dean up on what had gone one while he had been out. After Dean rolled his eyes when he was told how much people had been worried, the sarcasm began to flow. Sam joked he could finally get Dean on a healthy diet because being stuck in bed meant that he had to take what was given to him. They joked about how everyone would wear go pros on their hunts in the future so that Dean could still feel involved from the comfort of his bed. They laughed to cover up the worry. Yes he was awake and he wasn't in pain, but he was paralysed and there was currently no cure.

3 hours after he left, Gabe came to get Sam. He brushed the hunters hair behind his ear, "You have been awake for 23 hours, you will be useless to everyone if you get no sleep and don't tell Charlie, but you're our biggest brain." Hearing that Sam hadn't slept, Dean slipped into big brother mode and shot a glare at Sam, and with that the hunter and the arch-angel slipped off to bed. (Dean was unsure if that meant one bed, or separate.) And just like that, it was just Dean and Cas. 

"Don't you need sleep too?" Dean asked the angel, who definitely looked tired. Cas shook his head, "no, i've been using my powers to try and help find a solution so I currently do not need to sleep." Dean shrugged, "you look exhausted buddy." At this Castiel looked down, unsure if to say anything. "I didn't know if you were going to die Dean, I thought our last conversation was going to be, well, you know, and I couldn't live with that. And I just, I couldn't fix it, you. I couldn't help. All I could do is sit and watch you and pray you weren't actually slipping away." Cas stopped himself, right on the edge of tears.

"I heard you." Cas looked up, "I heard everything, from one of Bobby's farts to Meg using my sleeve to wipe her mouth after her lunch, but I heard you talking to me." Neither of them knew where to look. "And it's not, it's not like... I just don't think it's fair. I could be stuck like this forever, Sam is my brother, he is stuck with me, he'll force feed me veggie bacon and neither of us have a choice in the matter, but you, you can get out. There are no strings attached. Yes, you have been our best friend, but Cas, you can walk away, you don't have to stay, you don't have to have this life if you don't want to. Who would choose this?" Dean fell silent, unable to look at Cas. He wanted the angel to be to tell him to shut up, of course he chooses this life, a life with Dean, but he also didn't. He loved him and he didn't want this less than perfect life for him, it wasn't fair for either of them.

"I don't choose this Dean. I have no choice in this. I am tied to you. I cannot get out, and simply I do not want to. I was sad because I thought our last conversation would be an argument, but I was devastated at the idea of a last conversation. Of no more reminiscing or joking or bickering. The idea we would never get competitive or teach each other things or grow together again, I was scared Dean. I would never walk away, it is not a possibility for me, all strings are attached." And with that Cas wasn't nervous to hug or hold Dean's hand anymore. He got up and lay on the bed next to dean, holding his hand (this was very romantic but shuffling a limp body over so he could fit was the 15 most awkward seconds of Castiel's life - maybe Dean's too). Cas snuggled in to Dean, kissing his neck, feeling on top of the world.

They would both wake up hours later when Castiel's legs would start to seize but for now they were comfortable, happy and in love. They fell asleep, holding hands, with smiles on their faces.