Guess its Never Really Over

Good Bye.

(Flashback to my last night in Italy and with JS)

Vinny and Nicole had been acting weird around me for a couple days now. Vinny had been especially distant and if he wasnt being distant he was kissing my ass and I didn't understand why. All the roomies around me were acting weird if I Thought about it. They looked at me like I was a ticking time bomb but why?

“Idk Pauly something seems off...like he’s hiding something from me and I know you know...please I just wanna know. If he wants to be single and screw around I mean...it’s gonna hurt like hell because I hate wasting my time...and I..I love him.. but I can’t be lied to anymore”

I said hugging my pillow. Pauly sighed and rubbed my back.

“Look, Vinny is my husband, so I’m obligated to keep the bro code but you’re my best friend, so..all I’m gonna say is Nicole is downstairs in the livingroom. I think you need to go talk to her...trust me”
Pauly said. Anxiety shot though my chest like a harpoon. It was dread. Something was wrong. I sighed sitting up and nodded, standing.

“Okay Pauly. Im going”
I said and walked out. Vinny said he needed some air and left an hour prior... Mike and Jenni were working at the pizza place but they should be home any minute, it was going on 10 now and Ron and Sam went on a date hours ago so they should be home soon too. Snooks was in the living room... as I got closer I stopped hearing Snooki talk

“Jionni I’m so sorry I was really drunk and I didn't mean to sleep with Vinny!God I'm such a whore! Jess is with Vinny! Jionni Im so sorry please don't do this” Snooki was sobbing. My stomach was doing flips, my head was spinning at the words that just flew through my ears.

'I slept with Vinny!'

I had to lean on the wall just outside the livingroom to catch my breath.

“Jionni? Jionni don’t hang up please I love you! Jionni!”
Nicole cried and hung up. I walked out of the living room...tears falling

“Youre right...you are a whore. And a fake friend at that..how could you snooks?”
I said as my voice gradually got louder

“I didn’t mean to! I get horny when I drink and-“

“That makes it okay?! Why couldn’t you fuck Pauly?! You know, the SINGLE ONE?!”
I screamed as I turned and punched the wall. Nicole jumped, only seeing my ever hit people and not objects. I didnt want to hurt Nicole. As much as my head was telling me to fuck her up, she was still my best friend and I just couldn't hurt her..even though she deserves it right now..
Deena came running in, hearing the crash.

“What’s going on?”
Deena asked but she stopped seeing my glassy eyes and red face and Nicole's tesr stained face.

"Oh no...you finally told her?"
Deanna asked sadly. My eyes widened as Mike and Jenni came walking in
"We're to-oh no"
Mike turned on his heel seeing us and walked to the kitchen.
"Jess, I know you're mad and hurt but-"
"Did EVERYONE but me know about this?!"
I yelled angrily.
Not any of the 3 could look me in the eyes. They kept their heads down.
"So the whole house knows?"
I asked through gritted teeth but nobody said anything
"HELLO?!"
I yelled angrily
"Nobody knew how to tell you! Not even Vinny! We all wanted to but we didnt want to hurt you!"
Jenni finally spoke up
"Oh so sad Sammi can get a note just for making out with a bitch but I get NOTHING when these two fuck?!"
I yelled looking at Nicole as she put her head in her hands and cried.
"You mean more to us than some anonymous note! We were still trying to figure out how to tell you"
Deena said trying to touch my shoulder but i backed away

"Great. Thats fucking great. You spared me my feelings and now I dont trust any of you. You guys are supposed to be my friends! But you're lying behind my back and screwing the ONLY guy ive ever loved! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why- why even be my friend? Why pretend you actually like me just to stab me in the back?"
My angry voice cracked and I
I dropped to my knees holding my stomach and cried, finally breaking down. This was a cry from my soul, deep in my gut that I couldn't hold in anymore.