We Don't Have To Be Ordinary - A Jensen Ackles FanFic

Chapter 23: A Little Speechless

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" Jensen is sitting on the bed beside where I lay. I can already feel my hangover. "Did you have a good sleep?" He looks down at me. I realize I'm at his apartment. "Why am I not at home?" I question. I don't remember anything after drinking with Rob. "You were very drunk and I didn't want you to be alone." He explains. I nod.

"You did, however, get completely undressed so you'll see that you're wearing one of my shirts." He nods at me. I look down at what I'm wearing. A black T-shirt with some type of logo on it. "Oh my god. That's super embarrassing." I sit up and cringe. I lean against his headboard with him. "Oh that's not all." He looks over at me. "Shut up!" I don't want to believe him. "What did I do?" I don't want to know but I think I should. "You told me some juicy stuff." He smirks. "You're lying!" I point at him and he chuckles. I get a quick flashback of telling him that I love him last night. Then my heart sinks. I wonder if I actually did.

"We just talked for a while until I got you to drink some water and you fell asleep." He says. "What did I tell you?" I need to know. He shakes his head but I know he's holding back. "I told you I loved you?" I come out with it. "You remember?" He asks, straight face. "Vaguely. What else did I tell you?" I ask. He purses his lips. I am curious about his reply back to me but I don't want to ask. "You asked me if I would I have married you, if you didn't move away." He says. "Oh fuck." I whisper and he smirks. "I'm probably going to hate myself for this, but what did you say?" I shake my head slightly as I ask. "I told you yes, then you asked if I still would."  He answers. "Jesus Christ." I'm not even going to ask for the answer to that one. "And I said yes again." He says it without me asking. I hold my breath for a second as I comprehend.

Things just got insanely real. "Why would you still? I'm a terrible person." I say without a second thought. "You literally said that too last night. Word for word." He laughs before continuing. "You're not a terrible person. And regardless of the time that's passed, I still love you." That answers my first question I didn't want to ask.

I bite my bottom lip as I think about what I want to say next. "I just feel selfish for leaving, then coming back and expecting you to still want to be with me. The way I see it, you should hate me." I tell him my thoughts.

"You did nothing wrong, Olivia. You moved to help your mom when she needed you the most. And I know you don't expect me to still love you because you clearly don't really believe that I do. You would also rather be homeless than kick out the people living in your home. You are in no way selfish. You're selfless. And I don't know how else to get that across to you." He raises his voice a little. "I'll be honest, I'm afraid of doing this too. I don't want to get hurt. But I know it's worth it because every time I just look at you I can't help but think 'I really love her'. Even after two years apart, when I saw you in that Starbucks, that was my first thought. So please stop thinking that I hate you because I really don't." He finishes. I nod. "Okay." It comes out as a whisper.

I don't know what else to say. I'm honestly a little speechless.