Your phone dings as a text arrives
J-Dawg: Heyo y/n wanna have an epic sleepover? we can play minecraft!
Y/n: Yes ill come over. What's your address again?"
J-Dawg: It's 69 Crucifixtion lane, Jerusalem
Y/n: ok here i come
You ride your magical fetus to Jesus' house where he awaits with open arms. In jesus's holy arms is a bowl of holy chips.
"It's my body!" jesus says while striking a fierce pose
The bowl of holy chips falls out of his arms. "Oh noooo!" you scream as the holy chips fall on the ground.
"FIVE SECOND RULE!!!!!" Jesus shouts and eats half the holy chips on the ground.
"Leave some for me!" You say as go go to eat the rest.
"Stop! It's been more than 5 seconds, those holy chips are contaminated!" Jesus says
"NOOOOOOOOOOO" you scream
"It's ok y/n, I have some of my blood in the house!" Jesus says while patting your back
"But jesus, I'm under 21, I can't get drunk!" you reply sadly.
"Don't worry y/n, its non-alcoholic blood" jesus reassures you.
"YAY!" you proclaim!
"Now lets go play minecraft pocket edition!" jesus says, whipping out two ePhone 69s"
You and jesus run hand in hand into his house. Jesus' daddies are sitting peacefully in the living room.
"Wassup y/n!" Joseph says with a smile.
"You will go to heaven y/n" God says
Jesus frowns. "Wheres my mommy?"
"Your mommy is in her room, I think she's praying to God." Joseph replies
"Ya i should probably go help her lol" God says, standing up to his full height of 6 feet nine inches.
"Wowowowow ur tall!" You say to one of the father's of ur bff Jesus.
"Ok y/n lets go play minecraft!"
You and jesus run to jesus's room, which is entirely make fom holy chips and crosses.
"wow jesus ur room is so holy!"
"Ikr?!!" Jesus squeals.
you and jesus both unlock your ePhone 69s and open the Minecraft app. You join Jesus' world and spawn in to see jesus_uwu420 (jesus) fighting and enderman with a wooden sword. You (epicgamer69) find diamonds immediately because cheats were on and slay the enderman. The enderman dies and drops its balls.
"Wow, 2 ender pearls!" jesus proclaims. "I should write a bible about this!" you laugh and make a book and quill and begin to create the new bible.
After a lot of writing, you and jesus are tired, so you go to sleep on opposite sides of the room because you are an honorary child of god and jesus is an actuall child of god. you sleep and dream about jesus and you destroying the ice age baby
Fin
YOU ARE READING
Jesus x reader (wholesome?)
Fanfiction(Wholesome?) stories of y/n and their bff, jesus most no-no words are censored Including but not limited to: - Jesus paints your nails -Jesus sleepover! - Jesus gets cyberbullied -Jesus says a bad word :o -Jesus goes to the hype house -Jesus self...
