sociopath - spencer reid. ✔️

| 25

25. i want you but i don't
know how to tell you

    "SPENCER, we need to talk." Aeyla said, facing the man at his desk.

"Sorry, but there's not much to talk about." Spencer told her dismissively, not even looking up from his papers.

"Really? So, you're just going to ignore me forever? Pretend that we're not even friends?" She asked him.

This seemed to get his attention, and he stood up in annoyance, grabbing her bicep and dragging her to the empty case file room, closing the door behind them. Spencer stared at her coldly before speaking.

"Sorry, but I don't think friends is what I'd refer to us as anymore." He told her, crossing his arms.

"Spencer, what the hell are you mad at me for?" She snapped, raising her eyebrows at him. "You has a good time last night, didn't you?"

"No! I didn't!" He snapped back. Aeyla took a step back, her eyes widening with hurt.

"Spencer, you were in pain, so I gave you what you wanted. We had sex, we always do! What the hell do you want from me?!" She yelled.

"What did I want? I wanted someone, Aeyla. To just—comfort me!"

"And I did! I comforted you, didn't I?!"

"Aeyla, when I have sex with you I feel all the scientifically best feelings—endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin all rush through our bodies; it's a natural response. But afterwards, those levels drop, resulting in intense feelings of sadness the very next morning. So having that, plus knowing that my own mother doesn't even fucking remember me, plus knowing that the only person in my life who has the power to make me feel just a little better, doesn't even want to—how does that make me feel?!" He shouted, ears turning red with anger. "It makes me feel like I have no one!"

Aeyla froze at his outburst, her stomach sinking at his words. She didn't know that leaving him in the morning would hurt him this much. Aeyla felt guilty, knowing she was being selfish for not comforting him and putting her own emotions first, even though he was in pain. "You're...mad because I left you in the morning? Spencer, I didn't know—"

"You never know!" He yelled. "You never understand, Aeyla—"

"No!" She shouted at him, clenching her fists. "I don't know, Spencer! I don't know why last night became so personal—that's why I left!!! Because it felt wrong—"

"It wasn't personal! It's never personal, Aeyla!" Spencer shot back—although it was a lie. It was personal, to him and to her.

"Yeah?! I'm sorry, but it felt like it was!!" Aeyla shouted, "Spencer, you always pull out, and last night you didn't even—"

"What? You think I wanted to get you pregnant?! Get over yourself, I know you're on birth control—I knew it didn't matter!!!" He scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

Aeyla's mouth dropped open, shocked and furious to even hear those words come out of his mouth. "Of course I don't think that!!!" She shouted, burying her face in her hands. "But it does matter, Spencer!!!"

"No, it doesn't!!! Us having sex—it doesn't matter. Not to you, not to me—" He let out an exasperated breath, gulping down the lump in his throat that formed because of his constant lies.