O.C.D [ Fransykes ]

18. mum im horny

Do remember that that there are skip scenes like them using the bathroom, brushing teeth, and things like josh making friends, oli talking to his friends, and oli taking his shots. Oh and I dont know too much about side effects for testosterone shots so if this is wrong private message me bc I dont feel like being embarrassed

Oli's pov

Monday morning before school I go to my mum. She knows everything, we are very close, and I think I need to talk to her about some stuff. I go over to her and feel a little nervous bringing stuff up. Shes drinking coffee as she sits at the kitchen table.

When I sit down she knows I'm about to say something important. She puts her coffee down and gives me her attention. "Goodmorning," I mumble. She smiles.

"Goodmorning, how are you honey?" She asks and I mess with my hair.

"Josh is my boyfriend now but um.. I have to talk to you about stuff," I say and look around a little. My dad is in his room, like always. Or maybe hes at work, I have no clue.

She smiles and I get a feeling she already knew me and josh would date. "That's good, he seems like a good boy. What do you want to talk about?" she says and I nod and blush at the first part.

"Um.. I keep getting really turned on and it hurt.. I think its because of the shots but I've had to skip class a few times before I couldn't hide it and didn't want people see me like that.." I say quietly.

"Oh. Um, well does it go away when you touch yourself?" She asks seriously. Shes not making fun of me or acting embarrassed.

"I dont.. I get too much dysphoria.. and I don't do anything with people because I dont want them to find out.. but it's really uncomfortable when it happens.." I say and she nods a little thinking.

"Okay.. I'll do some research or something and get back to you. Anything else?" She asks.

"Um.. Josh thinks I have a drug problem. He saw the needle marks.." I mumble.

"Why don't you tell him?" She asks.

"He could be like ronnie.. I dont know if I can handle that," I mumble.

"I dont think Josh-" she stops talking when we hear a door shut down the hallway.

"I'm going to school," I say getting up.

"Bye honey, I love you," she says I see my dad go out the back door.

"Bye mum, love you too," I say and leave.

-

Josh is talking to his friends in the hallway so I sneak past him and into the guys bathroom. We have 20 minutes before class starts. I feel like shit, I haven't ate since yesterday at dinner and that was only a little. I eat once a day at most.

I'm flat chested now, but if I gain weight that will change. I need to stay like this until I get surgery and then eating shouldn't be too big of a deal.

I've been taking testosterone for almost two months and I've already started to get voice cracks and stuff.. around 3 months my voice will be very wonky and after 6 months my voice should be deeper and not have to many cracks in it. It's like my second puberty. I've only had my voice go wonky a few times but that was only when I got scared.

Josh: can we start walking to school together?

Me: okay, that would be fun

Josh: are you here yet

Me: yeah...

Josh: where?

Me: bathroom near you

A minute later he walks in and sits next to me. "Hallways to out of order?" He asks.

"Very.. I hate school so much," I tell him.

"You said you take medicine for you're OCD, does it help?" He asks and I think for a second.

"Fluoxetine helps most of the time. But things still bother me. I get anxiety over nothing and it sucks but it really does help with- um.. it helps with depression," I mumble embarrassed.

"I'm glad it helps. Do you want to just skip school today? Hang out under the bleachers and then go back to my house?" He asks and doesn't look like he's judging me.

I hate people knowing I have depression, it's not so bad anymore but it still there. Lingering in my mind. Josh helps me up and holds my hand. As we walk down the hallway girls look at josh with annoyed looks. They send me jealous hateful looks.

"It's fine," josh tells me and we go out the door. I feel better we are out of school. We go to the bleachers and I see mitch. I lead josh to him and we sit down by him.

"What up Oli? Who's this?" The one and only mitch lucker says. Hes smoking a blut and seems like he about to go to school.

"My dick, and this is josh my..." wait I cant out him. I look at josh.

"I'm his boyfriend," josh says and Mitch smiles.

"That's awesome, I'm going to class but it's good to see you not alone," mitch says getting up and ruffling my straightened hair. I just redyed it black the other day so it's nice and shiny.

"Byeee, I'll see you later, " I say and he waves bye. "That's mitch, hes really cool," I say to Josh. He watches mitch walk away. He hums and looks at me.

"Take off you're Jacket, its hot," josh says. It is hot.. I'm wearing the trans tape so I dont need it to hide myself. It comforts me but I dont think he'll see that I dont have boobs or anything. I'm a guy. It's all okay. I take off my jacket and he looks at my shot marks.

"You do it every day?" He asks and I shrug. I get on his lap and hug him. He hugs back and rests his face on my shoulder. I really like him.. I want to trust him but I can't..

I wonder what he's thinking?

Does he really like me?

Thoughts?

Observations?

Theories?

Ready for drama?

;)