O.C.D [ Fransykes ]

29. lonely

Josh's pov

I guess we feel asleep because when I wake up my face is against Oli's chest. I pull away blushing and see he's asleep. He's so precious.

His mom is worried about him but I think they got into a argument. I cant see that happening because they are so close.. but something happened. Oli opens his eyes for a moment and looks around. He closes them as he stretches and rubs his face. "I hurt," he mumbles.

"Why?" I ask and he pouts and sits up. His hair is.. very messy and curly? He sighs and hugs me tiredly. He slowly falls asleep against me into the hug. Poor baby. I rub his back and kiss the top of his head.

-

Now that both of us are awake he looks like hes about to talk now. He bites his bottom lip and shrugs. "I just had a breakdown.. nothing caused it," he says look looking at me.

"The bruise?" I ask. His eyes flicker to mine.

"I was a bit dramatic and fell.." he mumbles probably embarrassed. My boy is clumsy. I kiss his cheek and he sighs. "I need to call my mum, I'm going to go be in your tree.. alone.. for a little while," he says. I nod trying to be understanding.

He can have his alone time if he wants. He kisses me before getting up and leaving.

-oli's pov-

This shit messes with my head. I'm to lazy for suicide but I'm daydreaming of death. It's been a while since I've been suicidal but it's back. I'm selfish I know. Josh loves me, yet I'm sad.

I climb the damp tree and pout. I said I needed to call my mom but I still dont have my phone. I just have to be alone. Jordan's clothes are getting damp but I don't care. I need to take my medicine and testosterone but it's in my room.

I sigh and look at the window. Josh is sitting by it looking out at me sadly. He knows something is wrong but I dont want him to know my dad hurts me. I don't want him to know my dad hurts my mom too.

My mom is strong but maybe not smart.. She's in love with a monster. She loves me and tries to protect me. She is my best friend and I can tell her anything and everything but theres one thing she wont do for me. Get a divorce.

-

When I walk into the living room I see josh looking sad on the couch. His mom is at work.. I'm sad.. maybe I can cheer us up?

I straddle him and kiss him but he grabs my face and pulls me away and squishes my face. "You're cute but I'm sad and dont want to get turned on," he says and my shoulders slump. I made him sad.. I cant do anything right. 

"Why are you sad?" I ask muffled because hes still squishing my cheeks. "Because you're sad," he says and I pout. I'm always sad. Not true I was happy the other day. He studies my face and then my body.

"It was just a break down.. its over," I say but he shakes his head.

"No, it's more than that. You're really upset," he says and I frown.

"I'm depressed Josh.. I'm always sad. I have OCD, I'm trans, I'm bi, people hate me, theres so much wrong with me," I say and he frowns.

"Tell me everything.. the bruise you got on your face, why you broke down, why theres a bruise on you're ribs," he says. I guess I cant lie anymore..

"Yesterday my dad got mad.. he lied to me saying my mum was in the hospital so I walked there because you weren't home and I got locked out.. after walking there it turns out she already left so I had to walk back.. I walked over 4 hours yesterday in the cold rain after being yelled at and.. he tried to make me see that in a girl.. so I broke.. I thought maybe I could force myself to be a girl.." I say and he looks hurt.

"You're dad isn't excepting?" He asks sadly.  I shrug not wanting to say that hes right. "He hits you?" He asks and again I shrug.

He closes his eyes and clinches his jaw. He looks pissed off. "I love you," he says but gets up pushing me to the side. Josh jogs out of the room and starts leaving the house.

"Josh!?" I yell and go after him. He runs to my house and bursts in. Oh my god.  My stupid self trips over a hose and fall down. I look up to see josh going in my house. I get up and rush to my house to see josh on my dad punching him in the face. My mum looks terrified and shocked.

She calls the cops and I pull him off my now unconscious dad. His face is bloody and his blood is on Josh's hands. Am I happy or mad? My mum explained what happened and I become more understanding why josh actually hurt him this bad.

Apparently he was hurting my mum when josh came in. I sigh and hug the tensed guy who is my boyfriend. "Sorry, I just meant to come here and yell at him.." he mumbles. My dad groans and puts his hands to his face.

"Welp.. you didn't kill him so I'm not mad," I say and he smiles. We look at my mum to see her looking stressed.

"I forgive you," I say and she smiles and comes over and hugs me.

"I just didn't want you to get hurt.. did you stay with josh? Or- Jordan?" She says seeing my clothes.

"After walking to the hospital I walked to Jordan's and then Josh's," I say and she looks surprised.

"The hospital!? That's to far to walk!" He says.

"He said you were there.." I mumble and she hugs me.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry.. I went there mainly to get away from him," she says and looks at my dad. The police pull up so she let's go and goes to open the door for them.

The cops hand cuff Josh and my dad and Josh just smiles and winks at me as they leave. Another police questions my mum and then me to see what happened. "Is josh in trouble? It was to protect my mum and me," I say and she shrugs a little.

"I doubt he's going to be in trouble but we need to question him at the station and stuff," she says before leaving.

Josh just...

What the fuck

Thoughts

Theories

This story doesn't have much left (I think)

Oop I gotta write Room to Breathe soon