I Want You Here When I Wake Up

19

Louis POV
I got back much later than I usually do, I was assigned a paper in my phycology class and I really wanted to finish it so I ended up staying at a cafe until almost 12:00 am, Thankfully that meant my sleeping place was deserted of any foot traffic that it might have expired during the day, although I don't think it ever really it's foot traffic, it seems virtually cut off from the rest of the city, which to me is the appeal of it.

The soft street lights start to fade out which means I'm almost at my beloved tree. I never thought I would be the person who loves nature let alone probably love a tree past what it considered acceptable. I place my bag down and immediately go to grab my sweatshirt and blanket I left in the tree this morning, thankfully there are still there and I place them down and create my surprisingly comfortable makeshift bed. As soon as the blanket is laid across the bottom I lay down, man I'm exhausted. I grab my fake pillow and settle in, but that's when I realize an unusual lump pressing against the side of one of the root barriers, I reach out to grab it. It's an article of clothing. I can't really see what it is, maybe a shirt or sweatshirt. I hold it towards the glowing street light that Bradley reaches me and my world stops. I'm frozen, this can't be. There's no way this could be it. My favorite green Adidas sweatshirt, the one I left at the apartment. This can't be. Maybe it's somebody else's and they left it so I checked the size, small, shit I'm almost certain it's mine now, only a few of these were made and because I got my actual size and not oversized and let's be honest how many men wear a size small. There's only one last test to see if this is truly mine, I tentatively pull the sweatshirt to my nose, I wait a second not wanting to fully know the answer, then when I need a breath I breathe in the scent of my past. It's a mixture of strawberry detergent, Harry, and hospital scents.

I never noticed when the first tear fell but now my cheeks were wet with the silent flowing river from my eyes. How did this end up here? Why does it smell so strongly of Harry? But the one thing that's really freaking me out is the scent of a hospital. Why does it smell like a hospital? Was Harry in the hospital? Oh god, what if he's in the hospital! I clutch my sweatshirt closer to my heart. I'm so sorry I said as tears spilled onto the green fabric. When I looked into the night sky I was expecting pitch blackness, exactly like every night since I left. But tonight there was one star. A STAR. How could there possibly be a star? It just didn't make any sense. There's no way I did something that helped Harry, all I've don't is hurt him, yet there's now a star in the sky. A little hope popped into my heart but it still aches. I don't even know if it's worth trying to sleep right now. I just sit there in my tree, filled with every last tear I shed, holding onto my sweatshirt and stare up into the sky.

I keep repeating the same words every so often, I'm so sorry. They're the only words I can physically say at the moment. It's all my body can do at this point.

At sometime in the night, I had to have fallen asleep because my alarm clock certainly isn't pulling me from thoughts. I quickly turn it off to make sure anybody who might be around doesn't hear it. My vision is blurry and my cheeks puffed out with tears staining them. My memory of the last events are foggy just like this morning's weather.

When I look down every last detail comes swirling back into my head, repainting the pictures of last night, and it makes sense why I look like I'm sick. I think heartbreak is a form of illness right? I wish I could stay here for the entire day. Just sitting in my tree cocoon, who knows maybe Harry will come back for this? Or what if he meant to leave it, to get rid of it? Another piece of my heart breaks off and sinks. Then another thought floods my brain, does Harry know I'm here? Is that why he left it here? Who did he even find this place? Has he been following me? I can feel every question burning my thoughts. Maybe I'm going insane?

I start to see the sunrise and I know I can't stay here much longer. Soon people will be up and walking and will probably notice me coming out of this place. Since my things where safe in the tree yesterday I decide to just put them back there before I head off, but I definitely do not put my green sweatshirt in there, I don't know what if do if I lost it now that I know it's not in Harry's possession, so I take it with me.