I Want You Here When I Wake Up

32

Louis POV

If I thought leaving Harry was going to be the hardest part of my life I surely underestimated that fact I would ever have to watch him transform into an entirely different person and not be able to do a thing about it. This time it's not only the shattering of my heart that hurts every time I hear the words that continue to come out of Harry's mouth but also that it's exhausting, mentally and physically. It's so hard to remember not to joke around or nag on Harry like we used to because I know we won't take it well. It's exhausting to try and keep calm while he's yelling at everyone, to try and keep him up and it's not like I've had to do that for a long period of time either.

I've been engulfed by the guilt of feeling like I have it hard. I have it easy. I'm not the one with a mesh spine who has, had? a broken heart. I'm not the one who is relying on pain medicine to sleep or special massage socks to keep blood clots from forming in my legs, yet I am still complaining. What is wrong with me?

It's nearly four in the afternoon which means it's almost time to get Harry back up. I'm, dreading it for two reasons, one, I honestly don't feel like I have the energy to deal with the attitude has that overtaken his body but two, when he's sleeping he looks so tranquil and at ease like he's his normal self and I don't want him to have to wake up and be in a painful, moody, and unpredictable mess. Because I'm sure as it's no fun for anyone else interacting with him it probably hurts him, even more, knowing his heart is made of pure gold.

That is why when Dr. Sheeran comes walking through the door at four-o-clock on the dot. I am relieved to find out I'm not going to be the monster dragging Harry away from where he wants to be. He was nice enough to go over what the plan was for the rest of the day for me before he woke up and Harry, I'm guessing so that if I needed to I could try to calm him down and reason with him.

" So we want him to try and eat a proper meal during this wake session, his body will need energy to actually stand up and sit later after not moving for so long. He doesn't have to eat everything but he at least needs to eat half of the portion within the next two hours. I'll go ahead and give you the menu, maybe you pick to give him suggestions based on what he likes."

"Okay, thank you,"

" And you have been great through this whole process, I don't know what the two of you's whole story is but I know it's not easy to watch someone so close act so different." I gave him a small smile with a thank you.

" I don't want this to come across wrong or rude but how long do these, uh mood swings typically last for?"

" I know they are hard to handle. I've seen the purest people turn into evil villains while recovering. Typically the change is as little as a few days or up until the sixth-month post-op date. It doesn't mean that it's the same emotions or the same problems either they can change so he could be angry and moody like he is now or he can be overly happy and act like a little toddler in a few weeks or he could be back to normal by the end of next week. But having people like you with him supporting him and respecting his wishes is what typically help patients the most."

All of this information was a lot to process, but knowing that this Harry isn't permanent but knowing that he won't be himself for potentially sixth months is absolutely soul-crushing, he doesn't deserve to go through this.

" Thank you, really it means a lot." I gave him another half-smile which seems to be my signature look at the moment as he turns to finally wake up my sleeping Hazza.

"Okay Mr. Harry Styles I know you don't like me at the moment but it's time to wake up from your beauty sleep for a while" Dr. Sheeran was doing something with his IV bag as he talked before carefully nudging Harry lightly the arm to help him wake. He also put a damp wash towel on his forehead to shock his system awake getting the message that Harry certainly wasn't about to just wake up on his own accord.