Love me (gumlee)

Chapter 14

Again, this whole story basically has a trigger warning except for the fluff parts, so please keep this in mind
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Gumballs POV
Why? How? How could this happen? what we had was great. Something was about to start, about to happen. He brought me such joy and he made me feel like I was special, and important to him. I thought he felt the same way as I did, I thought the feelings we had were mutual. But I suppose it wasn't . I suppose he was just playing with my emotions, just to watch me run away crying like I just did.

I don't hear him shouting, I don't hear him coming after me. I smell smoke. It the thought of what could be happening behind me doesn't process.

When I reach the candy kingdom, all eyes are on me. The candy people form a pathway for me to run to the candy castle. I see glares and looks of disbelief as I run, crying. But I don't care. I don't care about anything right now. I just want it to be over. I don't want to feel. I want to be dead. Thoughts of Marshall and Fionna cloud my mind. The look of such pleasure on Marshall's face, and of accomplishment on Fionna's.

When I reach my bedroom I just throw myself on my bed and grab a pillow. I clench it as my tears pour into its soft fabric, drenching it. The feeling feels cold on my face.

I deserve this. I deserve it all. I'm a horrible leader to the candy people. I am not strong. My personality is too bland and boring for anyone's liking. I deserve it all.

I look up and at the desk, to a pair of dull scissors. Thoughts if Marshall's wrists rush through my mind. Should I do it?

I slowly stand up and walk towards the desk, to the scissors. I pick them up and align the blade to wrist. When I strike, I feel no pain. I see no blood. This could be my chance to recover, but I guess I don't deserve that either. But I keep trying, because I know deep down, I deserve it.