Recklessly (Lumity)

Chapter Thirteen - Guilty

Luz's P.O.V

"She has caused a lot of damage." I say as Amity exits our house, blocking us out of her range of hearing. I couldn't describe all that I was feeling at the moment.

"Luz, calm down, you're breathing really heavy. Take a deep breath and tell me what happened." I took a deep breath as she told me to and calmed my nerves. I was mad at Amity, that's for sure but a part of me was angry at myself. I don't know what came over me when I pushed her.

"We just got out of hand with shouting at each other. It was honestly kinda stupid and I think a I made a mistake." Guilt started pooling in my stomach, I shouldn't have pushed her. Sure, I'm mad at her for getting on my nerves but she's had enough abuse that pushing her probably caused her to freak out.

"What did you do, Luz?" Eda grabbed my hand as a way to comfort me, which worked. I didn't know whether to believe Amity or not with what she said about Zander. He seems like an awesome person but for how many times she's warned me about him, it does kinda scare me.

"I pushed her onto the floor, really hard, and I told her that I'm happy without her in my life. I didn't mean to sound so harsh but we were both just making the other mad." I looked up to Eda who looked at me concerned. She pulled me into a hug and comforted my racing heart.

"You two should just stay away from each other if you cause that much hurt onto one another." I knew she was right and I was doing good with staying away from her but I couldn't sit by as Amity got hurt by her own father.

"Yeah, I know, she just needed somewhere to stay because her father was being awful." Eda looked at me understanding why I did what I did. She patted my head and stood up to go get something from the other room.

"Why don't you stay home today until you have therapy and rest." She handed me some pancakes, "Or clean your room." She laughed as she looked around at my very messy room.

"But I wanna see Zander, especially since me and Amity just argued about him. I wanna rant to him about what she said." Eda's face hardened at the mention of his name.

"Yeah, I'm still not too happy about you having a boyfriend, you're growing up on me and I hate it." I laugh as she pretends to cry at how much I've grown. She hates that I'm old enough to have a boyfriend now.

"You haven't met him, so maybe he should come over after my therapy session, that way I can see him too." I get on my knees and jokingly beg for her to say yes.

"Okay, okay, fine. He can come after therapy and eat supper with us but he better be good to you or I'm kicking him out." I giggle and jump up in excitement. Today is the day that my mom will meet the boy that makes me happier than anyone else!

"Yes! Thank you so much mom!" Pulling her into a tight hug, she hugged back and patted my head once again.

I ate the pancakes that mom made me as I watched The Office. I promised myself that I would clean this room, even if it was just a little, after I finish eating. My room really was a disaster and I remember how much it used to drive me crazy when my room was messy. Amity was right about that, I used to go nuts if there was anything on the floor that wasn't supposed to be there.

Putting on Lauv, I started picking up trash that was laying around my room and throwing it all away. I set into action as I cleaned my room from top to bottom. It took me forever but I was dedicated to get this room to be how it used to be. I missed looking inside my room and feeling comfort instead of panic.

I couldn't help but think about me and Amity's fight from this morning. There was a lot of hurtful things said yet it was a stupid fight, one that would probably be forgotten in a couple days. Amity is hard to crack open and see what's going on inside her mind, she hides her feelings well, but I saw everything she felt today. She went from sadness, to anger, to completely defeated. She was tired of me, tired of us fighting whenever we talk to each other. I was honestly tired myself. I knew that this was something I would talk to Eden about in therapy today.