Recklessly (Lumity)

Chapter Nineteen - That's The Truth

Luz's P.O.V

I pushed the door open, seeing Amity walking towards the exit once again. She hasn't spoken to me since the day she kissed me which drives me crazy sometimes because I know why. She feels bad for kissing me but me, I don't regret that kiss. Sure, I don't know exactly how I feel about Amity but that kiss has changed a lot. It's opened up my eyes about what she feels, about how much she really does care for me.

"Luz, Luz Noceda!" My therapist snapped her fingers and brought my attention back onto her. I shook my head as I realized that I wasn't totally listening to her and instead I was thinking about Amity.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I was just lost in thought." Eden leaned forward and kept a close eye on how deep I was thinking. My hands were fiddling anxiously as I realized how long I was thinking about her.

"About who or what?" My head lowered as she asked that, I didn't know whether to feel embarrassed or not about how much I was thinking of Amity lately. She's taken up a lot of my mind and it's scary yet exciting at the same time.

"I was thinking about...Amity. I haven't stopped thinking about her since she kissed me, which was only two days ago yet I feel like it happened a while ago!" There I went again, ranting about what Amity has done, she's infested my brain, every single cell and crevice of my brain was infected by thoughts of her.

"She kissed you? How did that make you feel?" My hands now gripped my knees as I dug my nails into the skin without meaning to. I shut my eyes as I thought hard about how to answer her question.

"Honestly, I don't know how it made me feel. Like she's taken over my mind but I'm not sure if I feel happy or sad or mad that she kissed me." Eden nodded her head as if she understood, maybe she does understand me.

"Do you remember the emotion you felt when she kissed you, the moment she kissed you." My mind flashed back to that moment, how much emotion she put into one single kiss. The second her lips were on mine I felt scared and confused, yet happy?

"I felt so many emotions at once. I felt scared, confused, and a little happy, I'm not sure why. After she pulled away though, all I felt was confusion and anger." Eden raised her brows, curious as to why I was angry at Amity for kissing me. I'm not one hundred percent sure on why I was either.

"Go through each emotion you felt at the time and tell me why you felt that way." She folded her hands in her lap and I finally unclenched my hands from my knees, resting them in my lap.

"Well, I felt scared because I wasn't sure what to think of the kiss. I was scared that my boyfriend, Zander, would see us. Most of all, though, I was scared that Amity was kissing me because she confused her own feelings. I know her though, she always knows exactly what she's feeling which is why she kissed me. She kissed me because she loves me and that's why I'm confused." All these feelings were built up inside of me and I couldn't believe how much I was holding in since that kiss.

"Confused, hm, why were you confused?" I took a deep breath, looking her right in the eyes. I was hesitant on telling her why I was confused because it was hard to explain but I knew I could tell her anything.

"I was confused because she kissed me and at the time I thought that maybe she didn't understand how much a kiss meant. It was stupid of me to think that because she knows exactly what that kiss meant, it meant she loves me. But why in the world does she love me? That's why I'm confused." Another nod from Eden and I knew she was listening intently. She urged me to keep talking, keep pouring my feelings out about Amity.

"I've hurt her so many times and put her through hell and back that I just don't understand how she could have such strong feelings for me. It just doesn't make any sense, you know?" My hands flew in every direction as I spoke, showing how frantic my thoughts were.