Recklessly (Lumity)

Chapter Eighteen - How I Feel

Luz's P.O.V

I haven't stopped thinking about Amity ever since we shared that hug. It's been a couple days since then and I can't get her out of my head, it's driving me crazy. We haven't had a sincere moment like that in years and I honestly couldn't be happier. I've wanted us to be friends again and just that hug changed everything. Sure, we still don't talk really but every time I look at her, something just lights up. I don't know how to explain what I was feeling and I don't think there's a word for it, it's just unexplainable.

Her eyes always light up when she looks at me and I think I know why, because that hug changed everything for her too. I don't know if we were friends or if we're just people who sometimes look at each other. I wanted to be friends and I think she does too but there was something, someone, keeping us from becoming that. Zander has abused me every day now and it's getting worse. I've tried so many ways to get away from him but he manipulates me into staying, and it absolutely sucks.

"Hey Luz, how have you been?" Speaking of the devil, here he is now, acting as if we're the happy loving couple we once were.

"Leave me alone Zander." I started to walk away, just get out of the situation before it somehow escalated. That was clearly a mistake as he grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"Don't leave me babe, I wanna talk to you." He put on a fake whimpering voice, as if that would make me stay and talk to him. If he had done this a week ago, I may have stayed, but after what he's been putting through. There's no way in hell I was going to talk to him.

"You've done enough talking, I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. I know you've gotten me to stay a couple times but I'm really leaving you this time." I turned back around and walked away only for his hand to grip my arm, forcing me to stop where I was. People just walked past us, not noticing that he was hurting me.

"Luz, you're in one of those moods again. It's okay, tomorrow you'll be wanting to stay with me, so just calm down and think about what you're doing, do you really want to break up with me?" My gut twisted as he tried to manipulate me, tried to persuade me into staying with him. He was disgusting.

"Just leave me alone Zander." I yanked my arm away from him and kept walking. I knew there was no way of truly leaving him because if I did, he would hurt someone I love. Most likely, he would hurt Amity.

I've been summoning up the courage to ask Amity, why she did what she did. Or if what Zander told me about her was even true. He's lied about so many things and now I don't know whether to believe that she slept with him. Since we've gotten past our fights, I figured that I could talk to Amity about it, ask what the heck was the truth. At this point, I think I would believe Amity over my psychopathic boyfriend.

Zander left me alone for most of the school day, which I was very thankful for. I just wanted a day to go by without him abusing me in any type of way. I'm sick and tired of this game that he's playing with me, toying with my feelings as if I'm a broken object.

I got lost in my thoughts as I realized how far from the cafeteria I was. Willow is probably looking for me, wondering why I wasn't in the cafeteria eating already. I turned, knowing the direction that I needed to go. Willow is probably going to laugh at me when she hears about me getting lost and going the complete opposite way of the cafeteria.

"Luz, babe, what are you doing out here?" I froze up at his voice. Me and him, alone, in an empty hallway. A part of me wanted to just run but my feet were stuck.

"Stay away from me Zander." I didn't turn around to look at him, I already knew that he was right behind me now, just waiting for me to face him.