She's Into Her

27 - Absquatulate

27 - Absquatulate

Kaetherine's POV:

Love arrives when you are not asking for it. Even the feeling of being hurt no one asks or wants to feel it. But because of love, we are more than willing to be hurt sometimes by the people that we love so much, that we adore so much. I chose to be hurt than to be loved by the person that I adore or more so, I love so much. 

I have chosen happiness for someone that makes me the saddest. I have chosen her happiness instead of mine. I have chosen her happiness though it cannot really make me happy. But then at least, rest assured that she is, that she will and that is the thing I said I only wanted—to ensure her happiness.

I sacrifice the love that I think will make me happy in order for her to be happy. I have loved the person I know will never love me back, and then the worst part of it comes around. That is, no matter how many tears she brings up in my eyes, my heart will always be aching for her.

How cliché it is that as we love we kept on saying will always stay for that special person but in the end, we just end up leaving and letting go of them. Not for their happiness, but because the sudden realization of their happiness doesn't seem to make us really happy.  

Pressing my eyes shut, I lift my head to the heavens as I felt tears in my eyes wanting to trickle down to my cheeks. I should not be crying as they said that special days like this should be happy, and I couldn't help myself but feel ten times sadder as now I am feeling the opposite.

Has no one ever thought how much lonelier it is when the supposedly happy day ends up being a sad one? 

I exhaled heavily with that thought in my mind. After that, I accidentally glimpsed at my wristwatch and saw the time—5:42 PM—which just made me feel more gloomy.

"Malapit na pala," I mumbled weakly to myself and heard the sadness in my voice.

How can I even describe this day? Happy? Sad? Moderate? Gloomy? Heartbreaking? I don't know. The sensation was a startling medley of feelings that was progressively merging into one and it was too much for me to carry, to carry all these feelings alone.

Doon pinagmasdan ko na lang muli ang nag-aambang papalubog na araw. A vast color of pale tint orange in the clouds. But sometimes it was yellow, pink, violet, and red. Such a beautiful sight to behold, seeing how it produces many hues. Perhaps it was just like her, always giving me color-coded emotions.

Tipid akong napangiti nang siya na naman ang maalala ko. Doon ipinasok ko na lang ang dalawang kamay sa bulsa ng sweater kong suot at doon ko na ulit ito matiyagang hinintay. 

Ms. Rielle and I are currently at Casa del Francisco, an undoubtedly paradise-like place. It is a two-hour drive from the urban city and if I am remembering things right, the whole place is still new. It just recently opened. It's like a small town where you can unwind and have fun.

The very reason why we're also here. Sinamahan ko itong mag-unwind dahil syempre, nasa poder pa ako nito and needless to say, because of my selfish reasons. 

Going back, on our journey before reaching the small town, we are initially greeted by a man-made forest. It is five kilometers long and the whole drive smells like a breath of fresh air. As we have successfully entered the small city, a spacious parking lot space has been waiting. It was along the seaside which is where I am right now. 

Observing more keenly the place—from its small galleria buildings to their vast and colorful amusement park rides, to its distant villages for the rental cottage houses to its economical sceneries and places—I must say, its panoramic beauty is undeniably fascinating. Such a picturesque.