UnCertain

Friday the fourteenth

I've disappeared off the face of the internet. I think I was high when I deleted ALL my accounts. I wasn't thinking straight. I wasn't thinking at all.

Valentine's Day was fast approaching and we were made to plan out the day. Hopefully it didn't rain because a lot of planning was done. Like I did anything, I'm not really the participating kind of guy. I didn't have a date, things happened between Jessica and me. She said I'm not 'compassionate' or 'genuine'. That ended quickly

At least weed will never fail or judge me. Let's be honest weed is the only thing that matters to me. It helps me cope. Helps me to forget.

I wasn't excited about Valentine's Day. I wasn't going to spend a whole day with my tannie (aunt). She's cool and all but adults can be a little too much. And I don't think that she wanted me around either, so I went to school.

*****
Scarlet's POV

I had a feeling that this Valentine's day was going to be a crazy one of a kind. I thought to wear only black. I like dark colours these days, really channels my inner being; dark, deep and mysterious.

I actually didn't want to go to school but we had a test to write. Bummer, but I was going to see Jay so maybe it wasn't going to be bad after all.

I got to school and we wrote in the morning. After two boring hours we finally went outside. The sun was 'sunning'. It was very hot. People were dancing and handing each other gifts and teddy bears.

My friend decided she wanted to smoke so we took her to the back of the school. There were a lot of tall trees around. She looked so hopeless while I watched her smoke, the scene was sad. It was like watching someone whip themselves or commit suicide; and at some point she was coughing. Tracy and I stood there with her, as there were only boys around, couldn’t just leave her alone.

Then came along Jay, I wonder what he thought seeing me standing where they smoke. He did look, I know, maybe he was disappointed?

*****
Jay's POV

Wait a minute, is that Scarlet? Seems like the badass instincts are kicking in. She’s smoking these days? She walks away, she's warning us but I don't know what she's saying. Oh shit! It's a teacher; we all start running no one wants to be caught among the smokers. She doesn't care she just strolls. Maybe I was wrong.

I don't know why I care so much about that her. I avoid talking to her at all costs. I know that once we get involved we won't know how to come out, I sense it. I know that we would start a conversation it would carry on, her laughing and me smiling. It would be beautiful, in fact magical. But I don't want her to be hurting once I leave.

*****

Scarlet's POV

That was a close call. I knew there'd be trouble. It was my intuition.

I had hoped for some miracle with Jay, but maybe the miracle wanted me to do something. I thought Cupid had something in store for us, but it was all in my imagination. Sometimes my imagination gets the better of me. Maybe I was supposed to perform a miracle. I should really learn to drop my expectations. I could just go to Jay and start talking but I can't. The world doesn't work that way. Imagine what would happen if I tried that?

I'm afraid of rejection. I could try but I always think of the worst that could happen. Anyway what would I say?

I think that I can't satisfy Jay. I think that, yet he didn't say so. You can't just judge a person without knowing them. You can't just assume, but that's what I always do. I wanted to focus on myself, needed. I had things to learn, commitment and I had some maturing to do.

You can't accept that someone loves you if you don't love yourself.

Hey there amazing reader! I've done and am still doing some editting, please share some of your views on the story. Whatever's running through your mind. I'd appreciate it.