After one Kiss! [YiZhan FF]✔️

31.

31. POV Yibo

I was just in the dressing room, being prepared by stylists for the next photo shoot, when I saw that I received a message. I picked up my phone, opened the message Zhan sent me and stared at the text content. "Thanks for a great couple of days together. Farewell."

I don't know if I stared at the text for a minute or ten minutes. All I know is that all of a sudden I jumped up, ran to the toilet and tried to call Zhan. Nothing, just voicemail. I tried it again and again, but the result was the same.

In a message I wrote him, I begged him to call me. But even after the shooting, which lasted three hours, nothing came back. No call, no message.

Six more days that I had to spend in Paris, I kept trying to reach Zhan. Wrote him several messages. But it had always stayed the same. Only the mailbox and all the messages remained unread.

What does the message mean? Is he breaking up with me? And in this way? What is wrong with him?

I called Seungyoun and asked if Li Wenhan knows anything, but they both said they don't know anything. I even called my brother, but he didn't know anything either and his friend Meng Yao didn't know about it either.

My manager was always making a fuss because I was always on the phone. I told him I couldn't reach my boyfriend after he wrote me a strange message that sounded like he wanted to break up with me.

And what did my manager say? "It's better this way. Before someone else finds out you're into men and it becomes public in the industry and you won't be booked anymore." That was his only concern.

After almost three weeks in total, instead of the announced two, I finally came back to Beijing. I drove directly from the airport to Zhan's apartment. I didn't care if I could get into trouble with the criminals there.

But when I got to the apartment, nobody was there. I was about to drive to the museum when his neighbor stopped me. She told me Zhan had moved out and left the city.

When I asked her where he moved to, she gave me this answer, "If he didn't tell you, I didn't do it." Then she slammed the door in front of me and left me standing there confused.

Despite what his neighbor told me, I drove to the museum, where Zhan's colleague told me that he only knew that Zhan had quit his job at the museum, but he didn't know anything more either.

No matter who I asked, nobody knew more than that. "Zhan was gone overnight." Said someone. Another said, "All I know is he went to his car right after his last shift and left the city."

When I returned home and tried to reach Zhan again, Seungyoun and Li Wenhan came. But instead of trying to help me, they only reproached me. I blamed it on myself.

"You put Zhan and your relationship at the back. You neglected him and your relationship massively. You didn't return his phone calls, you barely answered his messages. Are you surprised he left you?" Seungyoun had held it against me.

"I remember that Zhan wanted to talk to you urgently. But I have no idea what about. I didn't even have much time myself because I was so busy with my work and then spent my free time with Seungyoun." Explained Li Wenhan to me.

I remembered the message and that he wrote me that he wanted to speak to me urgently. Why did I forget that? Sure, I had a lot of things on my mind, but I shouldn't have forgotten that.

Couldn't Zhan have waited until I got home? Did he really break up with me in a note? Just like that? After we just got together?

Of course I know I didn't have time, and my job comes first for me. I know that I didn't pay enough attention to Zhan. But couldn't he have told me that in person instead of just writing, "Thanks for a great couple of days together. Farewell."

How could he do this to me? Why does he get involved with me when he leaves me only a few months later, when things get difficult? Perhaps he did not love me after all and I was just a pastime for him?

Had he just wanted to see what it was like to be with a man? Did he just want to have fun? Was he ever seriously interested in me?

Or was it maybe some kind of revenge on his part? A revenge for the long time I kept from him who I really was? And then his revenge was to pretend he fell in love with me only to dump me hard?

What am I supposed to think? What am I supposed to think when he leaves me like this? No explanation, nothing. Just this stupid message from him!

To talk to someone with a little more life experience than me, I went upstairs to my brother. Luckily he had just been alone at home, because I don't want anyone else to see me crying.

I told my brother what had happened, whining like crazy. I admitted to being a bad boyfriend. But at the same time I also explained that it was my job and that it came first.

"The problem is not that your job comes first. The problem is that Zhan and your relationship obviously didn't come before anything else. No matter how busy you are, there must've been five minutes in between to call him or write a message." Said Hai Kuan to me.

Even when I explained to him that my manager had planned my days completely through and I got tired at some point, he stuck with it.

"You took it for granted that Zhan would wait for you endlessly. And let's be honest. You are known enough in the modeling business not to have to take on every assignment. You could have said no if you really cared about Zhan."

"But you also know that I love my job and I love doing it. Yes, the stress is sometimes unbearable. But it doesn't change the fact that I love what I do. And that's what I do for a living."

"You sit here in front of me and cry because Zhan left you. But all I hear from you is. I love my job. My job comes first. I love what I do. I do it for a living. Where's Zhan there? When do you think about him? How important is he to you? How important was your relationship? You know, if I had known how little you cared about Zhan and his interests. I wouldn't have given up on him. I would have carried him on my hands and tried to read his every wish. I would have done anything to spend as much time with him as possible."

Maybe I should have told my brother that I wanted to earn enough money as soon as possible to buy a house. A house for me and Zhan. That I accepted every job, no matter how small, so that I could use my own earned money to buy a home for Zhan and me for our future.

But in the end, I kept it to myself. Because he's right, too. I should have put Zhan on a par with my job. Six years I waited for him to see me, that he would feel the same way about me. And in the end, I screwed it up in the worst possible way, all by myself.