After one Kiss! [YiZhan FF]✔️

40.

40. POV Zhan

"I think with you dressed as Bob and the fact who you really are, you've given my neighbor a talking point for the next week or two." I say that when I come out of the kitchen with two cups of freshly brewed green tea.

"Um, yeah. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. The shocked and amazed look on her face is enough for me. Ha-Ha-Ha."

"Nevertheless. I didn't plan it or anything. It really was a coincidence."

"It's okay Yibo. Did you get the information you were looking for?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sure you wanted to know who she is."

"I, um. What makes you think so?"

"Well, I may not have realized you were at the art exhibit. But I did notice someone following us that night. I just didn't know who it was. I didn't think much of it at first. But after seeing you at the museum today, I realized it could only have been you."

"Why?"

"This is not your first time doing this. And I don't know anyone else who would do this. At least, I think I do."

"I was just..."

"You were curious after you saw me last night. I can understand that. I mean, if people want to know about you, all they have to do is go on the Internet. But it's a little different when it comes to me."

"Have you been searching the Internet for information about me?"

"Hey, I don't need to search anywhere. The social networks are full of you. There's no getting around it."

"There's a lot of things in there that aren't true."

"Sure, Yibo. It's always like that with stars."

"Mn. Yes, unfortunately."

"So, you want to know something else? Besides whether I'm dating my neighbor and we have a kid?"

"Well, I... I have a question, yes."

"Now's your chance. So ask me."

"Did you really love me then?"

"What do you think?"

"Zhan, please. Could you answer the question?"

"I did."

"And why..."

"Why what?"

"All right. Sorry I asked."

"Why do you want to know now? Well, I mean, after more than three years?"

"I always wanted to know, Zhan."

"Then you should have just asked me."

"How? You disappeared for three years. Your phone number no longer existed. You were gone and I had no idea where you went or even why.

"Yibo I..." I couldn't get any further because my phone rang. I went to see who was calling. It was the director of the museum. So it had to be urgent.

"Give me a moment, it's my boss." I said and went to my little office to have a quiet talk with the director.

The director told me that there was water damage due to a defect in the visitors' toilet. Fortunately, none of the art objects, antiques or artifacts were damaged or destroyed. But he asked me to check again when I came to the museum in the morning.

The whole conversation lasted about a quarter of an hour. Ready to ask Yibo why he does not know why I left, I left my office. However, Yibo was already gone by then. He left a note on my table. "I'm sorry." It was written on it.

I wanted to apologize to him. I know I shouldn't have. I did my best to inform him back then, to reach him. But, over the past three years, I've had a lot of time to think.

And one thing has only just become clear to me. After talking to Hae Jin. Yes, I tried to talk to Yibo back then, but I couldn't because he was at a shooting.

Then I wrote him a message that I urgently needed to talk to him and waited for his call. And I wrote him a letter, which I brought to his apartment and put on his bedside table.

But what did I do afterwards? Nothing but wait! Instead of just writing another message and reminding him that I have to talk to him. After all, it could be that he had simply forgotten it.

I also did not ask if he had read the letter. I sat at home and waited two weeks for him to get in touch. Instead of just asking. I knew how busy he was with his job.

I knew that he was under a lot of stress, that he was overtired and sometimes didn't even realize in which city he was because he was so overworked. So it could be that he had forgotten that I wanted to talk to him.

And as for the letter. How do I know he really read it? Maybe he was in a hurry and put it in his bag and forgot or lost it? How do I know if I never asked him about it?

A quick message would have been sufficient. Just a short message where I ask him if he has read the letter? A quick reminder that I want to talk to him. But I did nothing. I gave up and just waited for the two weeks.

And I honestly regret that. Because I always wonder what would have happened if I hadn't been stubbornly waiting for him to get in touch with me. If I had just thought this far enough to ask him!

Who knows where he and I would be today if I had just asked then?

About half a year after I left Beijing, I talked to Li Wenhan on the phone. He told me that he felt very sorry for Yibo. Admittedly, I should have asked why, but I didn't and I just ignored it.

Then there was a conversation with Meng Yao who told me that he feels sorry for Yibo because he is still suffering. I didn't ask about that either. However, I was quite busy at that time.

I had just returned from Russia, hadn't slept yet and had to go to work three hours later when I spoke to Meng Yao.

So in short, there were indications that Yibo might not have had a clue. Very small hints, but there were hints.

What I'm trying to say is. I should have reminded Yibo at the time that I wanted to talk to him. I should have been pushing him harder. Instead of just giving up and waiting. I loved this man and I still do and I regret how it ended, I regret that I didn't ask at least once.

Even though he and I are no longer together, even though he and I don't have a second chance. So I still want him to know that I am sorry how our relationship ended.