Chapter Eighteen

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{Jay's POV}

"Jay, I still love you.." Matt spoke first breaking the silence.
"No."
"No?" Matt's eyebrows crinkled in confusion.
"I'm dating Luke. I'm on tour with his band and One Direction. I'm not- I just- I can't. I can't freaking do this again. Do you not get it?" I ranted.
"No, I don't. What did I do wrong?" Matt asked.
"You- I don't. You didn't- do anything wrong. Matt. It was too much. The hate, the fans, the drama, me. I was vulnerable then, I couldn't handle a relationship so fast." I stuttered out.
"You're dating Luke." Matt pointed out.
I sighed. "Yeah, I am. I am dating Luke, and this is probably as close to happy as I'll ever get."
"Close to happy?" Matt questioned.
I had no response.
"Jay, do you still love me?"
"Yes. I do." I spoke honestly.
"Then come back to me. I could make you happy. You wouldn't have to settle for 'close to happy'. You could actually be happy." Matt pleaded.
"I can't just get up and drop everything for you. I love Luke too. I'm sorry."
"Please." Matt whispered.
"I'm sorry." I repeated.
And then he kissed me. By the time he had stopped, we were both trying to catch our breath.
"You didn't stop me." Matt stated.
"Yeah."
"You kissed me back."
"..Yeah."
"What does that mean?" Matt asked.
"I don't, know. I love you both Matt. Look, I don't know. I just don't. I'm staying in town for a couple days, I'll go back to my hotel tonight to grab clothes and check with the boys. But I'll be staying with Hayes or Shawn. Not you." I said grabbing my stuff and walking out.

{an// this is just a filler since i haven't updated in forever but ily guys. thanks for all the reads.❤️}

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