crystalline
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her sunken eyes stared at the calendar hung on the wall, mouth slightly ajar. she hadn't slept that night, even the tiredness she was affected by wasn't enough to shut her system down. years had passed in the blink of an eye, without her knowing. she hadn't realised, and above all, she couldn't believe it had been eleven years. a lonely tear fell down her cheek before shattering on the parquet. she still remembered everything. from the mellifluous sound of his voice to the way his ash blonde hair shone under the honeyed sunlight. from the feeling of his cold tears landing on her bare shoulders to the feeling of his soft lips crashing against hers.
she met him in december, her first evening at the group therapy. the most beautiful months of her life had been those spent by his side. those days were out of reach, she only had the beloved memories that time recently began to blur. she innocently thought they would last forever, but they didn't. their story ended in such an unexpected manner, she couldn't comprehend the reason why he vanished overnight until this day. she never knew what happened to him after that mild evening of june. inwardly blaming herself, she never tried to find out. she had come to a conclusion, he had forsaken her.
she never told anyone about it. she dealt with the lingering memory of her lover alone. it was gradually eroding her from the inside. there were so many times when she wished she could get it all out of her chest, tell her parents there had been a jimin in her life. but how, when she couldn't even pronounce his name out loud.
she tried as hard as she could to forget him, to hate him. to turn the page on this chapter, to accept the fact that he was gone.
but nothing worked.
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