20
"Then don't, Harry," I replied with a surge of confidence that I didn't know I had.
"Okay, then I won't."
And he didn't. We sat on my bed and he looked at me as if I was the most beautiful thing in the world. As if he was taking me all in, selfishly not wanting to let anyone else get the chance to look at me. He studied my face and I knew that everything he was taking in would end up on a piece of paper that would be handed in to Ms. Fieldman without my knowing.
I could sit here forever. He could look at me forever and I could look at him forever and I would never get bored. This is it. This is all I want in life. Fuck being content, maybe I do want to be happy, truly happy. Could Harry give that to me? Could I give that to him?
"What are you thinking about, Jade?" Harry asked me, placing his finger under my chin and lifting my head up to look at him.
"Stuff." I smiled.
"Is it about me?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Maybe." I smiled at him.
"What is it?"
"I know that you didn't want me to see your drawings and stuff and while that was a while ago and you hated me at the time, I saw what you did for our project...and I wanted to thank you."
He smiled at me, his hand cupping one side of my face, softly running his fingers over my cheek.
"Thank me for what? All I did was draw you." He replied, changing his position on the bed to get more comfortable.
He was now laying on my bed, up against the headboard. He pulled me down with him so I was laying on his chest. His hands played with my hair as I heard the soft murmur of his heart.
"When I saw those pictures, I felt so special. Even if it didn't mean anything. I felt inspired and I felt seen, and I just felt so worthy. Those drawings were beautiful, Harry. I mean, the way that you drew me from memory, without using me as a reference, you're incredible. So yeah, thank you for making me feel special." I turned over slightly so I could get a good look at his face.
"Well thank you for being my muse. You're my most favorite thing to draw," he replied, kissing the top of my head.
"Oh, so now I'm a thing?" I laughed.
"My apologies. You are my most favorite creature to draw," he laughed as I playfully hit his chest. "But you're the sweetest creature that there is. Seriously, you should see my school notebooks. There are just random scribbles of your eyes or your nose or your lips. You consume every waking thought, Jade."
The butterflies in my stomach would not quit. Who would have thought that the jerk at the beginning of the school year would have ended up being someone who I care so deeply for.
-
The next few days were pretty normal. Harry and I weren't 'official' but we both knew that we deeply cared about each other and that's all that matter.
I spent the next few days working on the fear project. I typically get these assignments done early, but so much has gone on in my life over the past month that I haven't given it my full attention. I'm glad I did wait last minute because I had the perfect idea for the fear project.
Harry said that he was afraid of falling in love and I think the photos of him almost drowning could be a good metaphor for it. So I edited and photoshopped the photos a few times, trying to figure out how I could make it all cohesive.
It hit me when I saw the photo of him staring directly in the camera, moments before he came up for air in the pool. It perfectly captures how afraid he was. With a little photoshopping here and a little retouching there, I finally finished my piece and I couldn't wait to hand it in.
Just as I closed my laptop and was about to get into my bed, I heard tapping at my window. Confused, I walked over to it, only to see Harry Styles himself with a handful of small pebbles smiling widely outside my window.
"What are you doing?" I asked with a laugh.
"You texted me and said that you were done with the project so obviously I had to rush over and see it." He replied as if the answer was so clear.
"You could have just knocked or I could have sent you the file."
"Fine, I will just never ever be romantic." He playfully rolled his eyes. "I'll be at your front door in 20 seconds!" He yelled, dropping the pebbled and hurrying off.
I rolled my eyes as I closed and locked my window and rushed down the stairs to go let Harry in. Unfortunately, my mother beat me to it and she was already having a conversation with Harry.
"Jade, you didn't tell me your friend was coming over. Are you doing a photoshoot, can I watch?" My mom asked excitedly.
"No mom, Harry is just here to see my part of the project. You can go to bed, there is nothing to worry about." I say, grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him toward the stairs.
"Are you sure he's here just to see your project?" My mom asked with a smirk plastered on her face.
"Mom!"
"It was lovely to meet you Mrs. Davis!" Harry chimed in before I pulled him up the stairs and into my room.
He took a seat on my bed and I went over to my desk and opened up my laptop.
"I'm sorry about that. She's been...pretty interested in my life as of recent and I hate it. Anyways, this is what I did."
I opened up the file and I showed it to him. It was the close-up photo of him looking dead at the camera, fear-stricken. If you looked closely enough, you could the ghost of a girl in his eyes. In the background, you can faintly see the words to a poem belonging to Niocra Kladsflem.
It reads: Because it is easier for me to keep my distance than risk falling apart if this time is no different.
There is the whole eerie, broken, and hopeless vibe that the entire photo brings out and I love it.
His eyes scanned over the screen, his mouth agape.
"Jade, this is seriously really good. Holy shit! Is that...is that you?" He asked, referring to the girl in his eyes.
"Uh, yeah...I didn't want to use some random girl so I just put myself. Sorry if that is weird or anything, I can always take myself out." I said nervously.
I was hoping that he wouldn't catch that. I wasn't insinuating that he loved me or anything, even though I am fairly certain that he almost said that he did just a few nights ago, but I thought that it was fitting, given our conversation.
"No, leave it. It's perfect." He smiled, planting a soft kiss on my cheek.
"So...can I see yours?" I asked, my eyes full of hope.
He shifted as he pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pockets and handed it to me. One half of the page, there was a drawing of me that day in the classroom when I asked Harry if anything he did meant anything. When he didn't say anything and was scared that he would say no. I could not believe how he captured how scared I was to hear his answer. On the other half, he drew a close-up of my face. The details were all in my eyes. He drew his own reflection in my eyes and the image was made to look like it was shattered.
It was breathtaking. This man was beyond talented. The way he could capture an image and make you feel things, no matter how simple or how complex the drawing might be.
"Harry...wow." I was at a loss for words. "You...you are incredible." I turned and I looked at him.
There was a slight blush on his cheeks as I complimented him and his eyes looked away when they met mine. I turned my body toward him and reached out and cupped his face with my hands. I gently brought his face to mine, resting my forehead against his. His green eyes bore into my brown ones for a moment. Again, silence encased us as we simply just took each other in.
"You are incredible." I whispered softly before placing a soft kiss onto his lips.
