Why can't you just love me?

16.

I was getting closer now, getting closer to finding them. It's like my life couldn't carry on until this was over. Roman had gotten the hint he'd begun to leave me alone. I felt horrible but this only happened to me because of him. How was I supposed to move on and forgive him, our son died and it was all his fault.

I'd gotten myself a gun license and a gun. All I had to do was find them and I was closing in. Close enough to taste the revenge i so craved. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" I bellowed. There was no reply. I stood up and looked through the peep hole it was Seth. I opened up the door and ushered him in. He looked nervous and sweaty, like he had just run here.
"Seth what's wrong?" I asked nervously.
"I'm so sorry Chelsie, I had to tell him. He's on his way here now." Seth said frantically.
"Now why on Earth would you do that," I screamed at him.
"I was scared for you Chelsie, I was scared at what might happen to you," Seth almost cried.
"I don't need you to look after me Seth," I exclaimed whilst packing stuff into a bag, getting ready to go. I ran to the bedroom and got my gun out of the bedside drawer and put that in the bag too. This had to happen now or never, now that Roman knew my time was running out.
"Is..is that a gun?" Seth gulped. I just eyeballed him. "Chelsie please don't do this, it won't make you feel any better." He begged me.
"Seth you either shut up and fuck off or you come with me right now because nothing will change my mind." I shouted. "I'm going now,"

I stormed out of my apartment and ran down the stairs of my apartment hoping not to get seen by Roman. I'd parked my car out the back of the apartment block as somehow I always knew Seth would tell. He's sweet and he really cares but god he's annoying and seems to think that Roman is the cure to all my problems.
I jumped in the car and just as I started to drive off I saw Seth run out behind me. He took too long his decision was made. He ran after the car as I sped off.
As i pulled onto the road in front of my apartment I saw Roman entering the building, that should buy me some time.

I knew roughly where I had to go I just had to go there and find Johnny and Michael. I drove for what felt like forever, thoughts whirring all around my head. "Just shut up, shut up" I screamed at myself. I pulled up to the most recent address I had for them. It felt familiar. It suddenly clicked that this is where they held me. 10 million dollars and they don't even bother to find a nicer place to live.

I put a mask on and pulled my hood over my head tightening it as much as I could. I walked up to the door gun in pocket and knocked, I couldn't turn back. Lisa answered and looked at me sorrow in her eyes, like she instantly recognised who I was. She'd been beaten pretty severely.
"Lisa I'm sorry just know I have to do this" I said solemnly as she stepped out the way pointing to the back room, nodding for me to do it.
I walked into the back room to find something I never expected.
Michael was laying in a hospital bed, attached to drips, he looked bloody awful. Good because he deserves it. Johnny sat with his back to me, as Michael saw me approach his eyes widened but it was like he couldn't say anything. I pulled out the gun and put it to the back of Johnnys head.
"Not this game again Lisa, we all know you won't do it" he chuckled menacingly.
"Try again, Johnny," I replied as Michael slapped his Johnny's hand to shut up.