Ruin Maketh Me

15 - You'll regret this

     This is me.
     The heat and pain recedes like a withdrawing tide, and I'm lying on the cold, cold floor. Empty.
     My face is wet and the bitter taste of iron is spilling onto my tongue. Damn. Damn. Damn it all. I flop a hand over my eyes. I hate this. Humiliation and pain and shame and sorrow. I hate it all. Why doesn't it stop? It never stops. Not even when I'm no one nowhere.
     A raucous laughter invades the cold, cold air.
     "No magical power!" The woman's choking laughter spirals up and up, "Descendant of Solomon deus voight? Do you want to go at it again? Hmmm, prove yourself again, worthless idiot!"
You are Trash.
You are Rubbish.
You are a mindless Slut.
"Shit. You really know how to make people feel rubbish." I massage my temples and sit up slowly, memorising the pulses of pain and ache racing through my limbs.
My eye jumps from one to another to another around the table. Look at their smirks. Look at their disdain. Disgusting. Do they think they're right? Do they think they stand on the pinnacle of the world? Do they think no one can hurt them?
"So boy, tell the truth." The woman says absentmindedly picking her nails.
My breath stills. You fucker have no place to tell me what to do.
My clenched fists loosen, "What do you want to hear?"
The woman stands up in a flash, opens her mouth and —
"Tessia." The lioness's voice booms around the chamber.
I take a step forward and pin the woman, this Tessia with my eyes, "Tell me. What is it that you want to hear?" A sharp, mirthless laugh erupts from my mouth, "Let's see, I wanted to spy on the prince's lovely face, what was his name again? Ah yes, Lyon." I lean backwards and clutch my chin, "Actually, no, I wanted to assassinate you, Tessia. I wanted to kill you with my powerless, worthless little fists." Her eyes widen, "I wanted to pound you into a senseless pulp onto the ground, mash your beautiful face so hard, no one would recognise you."
The six pointer circle beneath my feet flashes red, and a terrible, screaming sound emits from the array's perimeter.
"Tch," I click my tongue, "It says I'm lying, but tell me, Tessia," I take another step forward to that twisted face, "am I lying or am I telling the truth?"
An invisible force slams into my shoulder, and my back feels like it's been crushed by a mincer. It drags me across the obsidian floor, and pain tears down my spine.
"I'm going to kill you." The woman declares with a chilling calm, "I'm going to disembowel you alive and grind what's left of you beneath my feet."
"Tessia!" This time the lioness roars at such a high frequency my ears ring.
The invisible force still holds me to the floor like a dirty rag.
"What is it Petra?" The woman asks nonchalantly.
"Let go of him, right now."
The force tightens on my shoulder and creeps slowly to my neck.
"This is none of your business Petra."
"It's all of our business, so let go."
The hold digs deeper into my skin. Shit. She'll really kill me.
"If he apologises. I'll let go." The woman finally concedes, "But I won't forget this Petra." Her gold eyes burn straight through mine.
     Accept it. You have to accept it or die. I take a deep breath of air, I won't give her the satisfaction of seeing me helpless and desperate.
     "I apologise for humiliating you in front of so many people."
     She seems almost at a lost for words, "I won't forget this."
     The heavy grip disappears from my body with a faint whoosh.
     I give Tessia a stiff nod and turn back towards Petra the Lioness, "I won't forget this lesson either." Never. I'm going to make you regret these choices.
     Petra places a heavy hand on her forehead and sits slowly back into her chair, "We are unable to determine whether this boy is telling the truth or not." She glances towards the golden man, "Dean Selii, What is your view on this matter?"
     "I don't see much point in continuing this discussion." His eyes light on me, "Thanks to this boy's intrusion we've discovered the gap in security. As for the threat he poses to us... there's very little he can do."
     The mellow voice chimes in again, "Are you proposing, Dean Selii, to just let him go like this?"
     "Some form of punishment is required." A gruff voice adds.
     "I do not object," the golden man replies, "it's just the question of form."
     "I'll take him." A quite, solemn voice like the sky at dusk rings through the entirety of the room.
     From the corner of my eye I see a shadowy figure stand up from their seat. The chamber replies only with an uneasy silence. Who is this man? A layer of goosebumps rise on my forearm. This does not bode well. Even Tessia and that Desmond are quiet as if they don't oppose.
     "That..." Dean Selii stumbles.
     "I require a worker."
"Surely Lilith, that isn't appropriate." Petra says firmly.
The man just stands there, regal and unyielding, "It is very much appropriate," his voice barely a whisper, "It is a punishment is it not?"
"Yes." Dean Selii answers softly.
"Then I will punish him." The cloaked man states simply.
In a faint swirl of dark blue dust and the scent of musty lavender, he disappears from the chamber. Gone, like a murmur in the wind.
And all is calm.
Disturbingly calm, like the eye of the storm. Somehow everything is resolved but unresolved at the same time. A heavy solemness descends upon the room.
Petra gives me a long stare, and something in her amber eyes seem to waver, "Does anyone oppose the proposal?"
There's no answer.
She casts her eyes down, "So be it."
And that was all.
That was all.
All it took was a single man to stand up and say he would punish me.
No one says a word. No one burns me with their gaze; it's as if I bear a horrible disease. They all melt from the room in silence. It's like they never had a voice.
The apprehension is terrifying. It's always been like this. Like a certain darkness closing in, inch on inch, and you're unable to move or even when you're running, you're too slow.
Only Petra casts me another glance, then she is gone too.
Maybe God never meant me to live in this world.
Maybe this is hell.
Whoever that man was, whatever he will do to me, there's nothing I can do. Like Tessia said, I am powerless. And maybe that's most terrifying of all.