Ruin Maketh Me

87 - Surprise, surprise

Everything, the sweat, the pleasure, the pain, the unquenchable thirst whirls into a flurry of passing time and space. The dining room, his bedroom, my bedroom, the landing, the kitchen, we must've done it everywhere within this house. The whole air is covered in our smell, a pleasantly mixed scent of musk and a cleanness unique to Eirwen.
I groan and squirm uncomfortably under the sheets. All the images flash into my mind as distorted fragments, and I cannot seem to remember anything clearly except the first night. The only thing I know is that the heat came over me in phases, and every time the fire burnt my core, I couldn't help but want Eirwen to fuck me senseless. And that he did. How many days has it been? Five, six? I had not counted the passing of daylight, it meant nothing to me in that desperate state.
Closing my eyes, I fight against the rising shame colouring my cheeks and punch the twisting Bond. Some static, a twitch through the metaphorical strands, but there's no reply. But there's no doubt, that all, the heat, the need to mate, they're all due to this Bond with Sol. He had warned me after all, if only he could tell me more...
A heavy breath of air puffs from my mouth, and I struggle upwards against the stabbing, aching pain below, "Eirwen?"
Momentary silence replies to my call, but before long, the door of my room swings open, and the blurry figure invading those incomplete memories steps in with his usual grace. Not a single golden hair is out of place, his face wears no signs of weariness or even hunger- he's no more pale than he normally is, and no dark circles line his eyes. So unlike me.
An untold embarrassment twists my guts, and a prominent heat flushes the tips of my ears, "Are you... ok?"
His zephyr brushes his bright strands gently, and his lips twitch upwards in an effort to smile, "I should be the one asking you that. How are you feeling? Is there any discomfort elsewhere? I bought some medicine that'd help relieve the pain."
"Ah," I twist and look down, "thank you. Ummm, how many days has it been?"
He comes forward and sits down besides me, rearranging the crisp sheets over my naked body, "Seven days, it was your first heat after all."
"Seven days?" I stare at him wide-eyed. We were fucking like rabbits for a whole goddamn week?
His slender fingers caress my head softly, "Yes, you must be hungry, we didn't get to eat much during the time. I've prepared something nourishing."
In answer to his words, a rumble growls subtly from my stomach, and a more natural laugh creases the edges of his eyes.
"Thank you," I say again, mouth growing drier, "Asier, how has he been? He, um, during that time..."
A sliver of air expels from Eirwen's mouth, "You don't need to worry about him, he's completely fine. He's capable of taking care of himself for a single week, but well," His jaw tightens, "he may have many questions."
I nod numbly, staring down at the smooth sheets. How many times did we do it here? How many times did he thrust his strong supple waist and caress me with those fine hands—
"Cynder, are you perhaps uncomfortable?"
I glance up at the silver storming in his eyes, "My body, well, yes."
"No," His hand withdraws from my head and interlocks together, "are you perhaps unhappy that it wasn't your panther who came to you, and it had to be me who took his place?"
"Why would you think that? I gave you my consent didn't I?" I scrunch the sheets under my hand.
His fingers loosen from their interlinked grip, "You wouldn't look at me, I thought you felt uncomfortable being around me. After all, you were under the influence of your heat, I couldn't be entirely sure whether you'd mind mating with me."
A light laugh bursts from my lips, and I give him a firm pat on the back, "God, no. I don't mind having sex with you. Here," I grip his wrist and press it to my chest.
A flash of light passes through his beautiful irises.
"Can you feel that? There's no way I hated it, it's just that, every time I look at your face," I gesture towards him, "I can't help thinking of the sex. I just need a bit of time."
Eirwen's mouth falls slightly open, and gripping my hand like I did his, he presses mine to his chest, right above his heart. Even through the material of his shirt, the rapid thump, thump, thump, thump pounding faintly beneath my fingers is undeniable as the spark in his eyes is undeniable. The way he looks at me has changed... it's warmer, more serious, and yet more intimate than before.
"I love you Cynder."
Thump. My own chest jolts, my breath steals away, a buzzing rings through my head.
"I want to marry you again, just you, Cynder."
My heart expands like a balloon with no bounds, and something I cannot name, something I've never felt before lights on my chest, footsteps delicate but firm, "I've never received a proposal before."
His hands tighten over mine, and descending to one knee, he looks straight into me, into my very core, seemingly through all the barriers and bricks and stones, "Marry me."
Not a plea, it's a demand, and yet the distorted expression on his face says otherwise.
Sourness chokes my eyes and throat, and I do my best to swallow back the tears into my heart, into the place most private to me, but I fail.
"Don't cry." Eirwen brings my hands to his lips, "Please, don't cry."
"I'm trying!" My voice grates out, "But god damn it, I can't seem to stop!"
Pulling back my hands from Eirwen's grip, I wipe the tears roughly away with the back of my hand and look at him. Look at him properly, from head to toe, from the fluttering delicacy of his lashes to the shadow of his tendons inking his pale skin. Marriage to this God of a man. Marriage, but what would that entail? Safety, yes, love, yes, something I'd never dreamt of having, yes, but what would Ralph think? And Sol, I cannot forget him either.
"Eirwen, I dare say I love you." I run my fingers through my hair, eyes not leaving him for a second, "Yes... There's no doubt there. But, could you give me some time to think about your proposal? I need time to think through it properly."
His eyelashes flutter like birds setting off for flight, and even with those words, a slight wind brushes through his hair, displacing them like threads of gold glittering through the air, "Yes of course, as long as you consider it, think for as long as you like."
A small smile passes over my lips, "Thank you, Eirwen."
His finger strokes the swollen ache below my eyes, "There's no need for that. Now, shall I bring over some food?"
I nod and shift towards the edge of the bed, immediately, his cool eyes sharpen, and his hand nudges me back down onto the pillows.
"And don't think of getting off bed, you need to rest. You expended too much energy during your heat, if you don't take care of yourself now, you'll end up with some negative after effects."
And with that, he gives me one final stroke and leaves me open-mouthed.

True to his words, I didn't leave the bed except to clean-up and for some occasional exercises. Everyday, Eirwen would bring a somewhat not so monstrous breakfast, lunch and dinner to my bed and in some effort to keep me occupied, Asier didn't even need to go out and scavenge. Eirwen seemed to do both that and solve the magic warp all by himself. However, that meant I was faced with Asier's unusually scrunched up little face everyday for a whole week.
"Dad."
"Yes?" I stop in my stretches. My body's been feeling better for the past few days, and now, there's hardly any ache left in my limbs.
"Am I going to get a sibling?"
I push my hand to my forehead and turn sharply towards his lithe body sitting on the bed, "How many times have I told you Asier? No, you're not getting a sibling."
His wide silver eyes waver and look down dejectedly, a small frown manipulating the edges of his full lips, "I know papa's been saying that as well, but I'm just worried. It's too dangerous! I don't want to lose you again, dad."
"Hah." I sigh and place my hands on his thin shoulder, "I know you're worried, but I'm not going to give birth to a kid. You don't have to worry about anyone taking me away, hmm? I promise."
He rubs his hands uneasily, "It's not that I don't want a sibling, but if you have to die to give birth, I'd rather not be a brother."
I pat him on the head, "I know, it's not only me, your papa won't let it happen either."
"Asier." A cool voice rings from the door, "You should listen to your dad."
Turning, I see Eirwen's tall figure leaning against the door frame, "You're back."
He gives me a faint nod and fixes his cold eyes on Asier, "Be assured, your dad's going to be just fine. Nothing's going to happen, and you should know that or have I been neglectful of your education?"
"No papa." Asier shoots up from the bed and stands as straight as a sapling.
"Good." His lips tip up slightly, and he turns his gaze back to me, silver eyes warming from their sternness, "The magic warp isn't going to pose as a problem anymore, we'll be able to leave."
A fluttering disturbs the stillness of my heart, "You mean, it's all solved?"
The brightness of his eyes seem to dim, "Yes, what's left is no longer a problem."
My fingers clench, and a small thread of nausea chains my intestines into a block. I've been waiting for this, so now that it's really solved, why am I feeling like this? I need to find Ralphus and Sol, this is a mission that I must participate in.
"We can all go home now dad!" Asier says, a pink flush creeping over his cheeks.
"Ah." I tuck my fists behind my back, "Yes, that's right."
Eirwen walks forward and wraps an arm around me, "Asier, why don't you go and see what needs packing?"
Asier's small mouth opens, but his eyes dart between me and Eirwen, and he swallows what he was about to say, "Yes, sure!"
Laughing sweetly, he steps out of the room and clacks down the stairs, shoes stomping against the stairs almost on purpose.
"So," My voice rings hollow inside the small room, "are we leaving now?"
Silence chews at the air between us.
"Yes." He says simply.
I can't do anything but nod. This is the moment I've been preparing for all this time. Or had I thought that it wouldn't have come so fast? Now, in this room, with Eirwen's arm wrapped around my shoulder, some things - Ralphus's calloused hands, Sol's saintly smile - seem so far away, as if they had always belonged in a dream locked away in my head.
He presses a bell into my hand. It's a little thing, only the size of an egg, made of silver metal. A rune-like pattern runs all around its outer edge and to my surprise, there's no clapper within its body.
"Call my name into it, and I'll always come to you."
I laugh bitterly and clench it tightly in my palm, "I guess this is the best you can do."
Eirwen kisses me on the top of my head, "I would've given you a phone if I could, but beings with high mana don't work well with those intricate devices."
A truer laugh peeks from my lips, and I nod sharply, sighing to the ceiling as the humour passes out of me, "I'm sure it won't take too long, and if you happen to less busy, you can always come and find me with Asier."
"Yes, it really won't be long."
His smooth fingers grip my chin, and lifting my head up, he leans down and kisses me deeply. I grab onto his neck, and our tongues dance together past the boundaries of our lips. Hot breath blooms upon my face, and he gnaws gently at my lips, eyes drinking me in abysmally. I break regretfully away, licking all taste of him into my mouth.
Our hands interlock together, but neither of us speak. We pass into the landing, down the stairs, through the entrance, into the pale street along with Asier, and still no words pass between us. What can I say? 'I don't want to leave anymore, I'll go wherever you go'. But no, that's a lie, Ralphus's crazed eyes still haunt me in moments when I'm all alone. But can he feel my sticky reluctance to leave? Surely, he knows I'll miss him?
Eirwen's hair merges with mine along our shoulders. Surely, we could've stayed in that house for one more day? There was no need to be this quick in separation. The Pit rumbles, and the hard metal of the bell digs into my flesh. These thoughts keep streaming through my head, but really, I know he's right in leaving now. If I were to stay with them another day filled with this dread of severance, this pain would be much greater.
How does he feel about this?
I stare at Asier's golden head bounding forwards in front of us.
"I'll tell him when you leave, otherwise he'll throw a tantrum."
My fingers tighten against his, and I force the frown digging into my face to flatten. I need to enjoy this moment, not wallow. What use is wallowing?
"Papa," Asier's musical voice lightens the air, "There seems to be something ahead."
Eirwen pulls me closer to his side, "Correct, but can you tell me how many?"
I scan the expanse opening up in front of us. We seem to be back to the square I first appeared in, but this time, no mist distorts the view. The entirety of the majestic plane of grey stone tiles unfold upon us, and in the far distance, below the stone statue of a being with outstretched wings and a perfectly balanced scale, there seems to be a small group of people. In contrast with the stern greyness, there's a blur of red and a dot of blue...
     "Wait, don't attack them." Both of them glance towards me in a sort of muddled doubt, but I continue forwards towards the familiar red.
     200 metres, 100, 80, 50, 20–
     The figures turn, and two shouts clash at the same time:
     "Leonard, Hoplin?!"
     "Cynder?!"

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AN: Would've liked to write more about Cynder and Eirwen's daily life, but hah, gotta keep the plot going - Ralphus ain't gonna wait forever. And as for the manga, I will first draw some panels about Cynder & Ralphus cat petting scene (thnx Justaweirdopassingby) and then I'll draw some panels with Asier and maybe Eirwen (Setitikide)! I'll try my best to get the first scene out before September.