Ruin Maketh Me

38 - The problem is not to find the answer, it's to face the answer

     Julius Kade

    Julius paces up and down the paved stone path. Where is he? A sharp jab of irritation glances off his heart, and he unfurls his wings. A soothing sense of power ripples down his back and through his arms. He'll come sooner or later. After all, that human has little to no magical power, as long as he wills it, the Human will always be brought here. Always.
Licking his lips, he recalls the taste and texture of the Human's lips. Sweetly soft yet masculine; it's not the most exquisite taste he's had and yet it lingers. Lingers like a streak of blood does on one's hand. He's never been much interested in humans, those weak creatures, crude and uncouth in their behaviour. But. Julius's eyes dim, and a chair materialises from nowhere. But this is the first time Ralph has made any movement, towards anyone. He doesn't understand, but he has time, he is patient and he will wait for the moment sleep claims the Human's weary mind.
"Treat him with gentleness."
     Gentleness. Is that how Lord Kade treats that Otherworlder? With this feeble human characteristic? He cannot begin to fathom Lord Kade lowering himself to the same level as a human. This is a quality of human love, not demon love. And that strangeness in Ralphus towards the Human, is that this gentleness? The softness of hand and feet as the Human wipes Ralphus, like he's a vase that cannot be replaced, is that gentleness too? The frail way the Human's lips part under his, the faint bending of his back, the movement of his hands, is that still gentleness? Love, sex, gentleness. The demon possessiveness in the fingermarks splashed on the Human's thin skin, so inappropriately placed by Ralphus. The obsession shown by that smoke shrouded human. He doesn't understand. The change in Lord Kade, his choice to have a child with the Otherworlder, naming that half-child his successor. More and more and more, he could not grasp.
     Julius splays his hands and points his eyes up at the sunlit sky he created. Surely, if Lord Kade made those decisions, he should understand. As his kin, his grandchild, he should know the reason behind these changes. And Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph. Why would he display such need towards a human? Just why would he, so stoic, so controlled, so powerful, show such possessive want for a mere human when that desire should be directed at someone more worthy.  
     Like me.
     A bird spirals from the sky and crashes to the ground with a heavy thud. Julius fixes his eyes on the crumpled and crushed body. Indeed, it's not just that. It's the look in Lord Kade's eyes that says 'I'll suffer without her'. And those words, so bizarre they might've been jumbled garbage.
     "She's the one. She completes me."
     "It seems your father did not teach you how to love, that's a grave mistake on my behalf."
     "Learn something from the Caesluphiuses."
He knows how to love, he's always been fond of Ralph, even when they were young. How can that not be love? His masculinity becomes so excited whenever he sees Ralph's jewelled eyes, powerful swings, tousled hair. That love is true. Lord Kade's love is shameful. It's like he's been defeated utterly and entirely, but how could the demon lord let himself fall from grace like that? Why would he let himself be defeated by an Otherworlder? Even in love, power should still be power.
Julius obliterates his chair and strolls back to the garden and his roses. What is the meaning of creating a space like this? Would understanding his grandfather's so called 'love' help him understand the momentary softness of his heart now and then, whilst watching Ralph and the Human? A jolt courses through his wings into his body, and he snaps around.
"You."
A white panther stands behind him on the path, watching him calmly.
"Who are you?"
The panther circles him lazily, "Stay away from Cynder."
A sour hardness pierces his chest, and he sends a wave of pulsating magic towards the beast, "Don't stand in my way."
His magic ricochets off a powerful shield, and a smile stretches the panther's face horrifically. Julius's eyes narrow, and the magic beneath his hand dissipates. Who, in this entire academy could withstand his magical energy?
"I won't repeat the warning again. Stay away from my Cynder." The beast growls lowly, turning away.
In a single step, Julius is before the panther again, "You're not leaving."
A guttural laugh tears from the beast's throat, "Julius Kade, don't think I haven't prepared to kill you."
A sword materialises in Julius's hand, and he swings towards the animal without mercy, but the panther disappears and a clawed paws descends towards his head. He ducks and grabs the Panther's limb, but again, it disappears under his touch. One of the professors, it must be one of the professors. But even among them who could it be? The panther's presence appears behind him, he turns, hacks towards his head. His sword lands empty. This speed... this magic manipulation... and in his own realm, unforgivable!
     Slash, empty. Swing, empty. Cut, empty. All empty.
     "Why would you fight for a human?" Why? Julius fought. Why would someone with power fight for a human, so easily killed, so easily dead?
     A wind whistles between the two. Demon and beast, face to face.
     Anger leaks like tears down the panther's face, and when he speaks this time, his voice is coldly raw, "Why else would I fight for him? I love him."
     Julius's hand tightens around his sword. It's love again. Love, love, love, love, "That human is mine."
     His sweet lips, his slim waist, his defiant eyes, his slender hands, his soft hair, his angular jaw, his mature voice, everything, all his.
     "Yours?" The Panther rips the air open with his laugh, "Cynder's no ones and certainly not yours.
     The shadow in Julius shifts and roars upwards, "He's mine."
     The blue summer sky blackens, the pavement cracks, the leafy trees uproot and yet the Panther is choking on laughter, voice mocking, eyes flashing, "You should see your own face, Julius Kade. Tell me," he paces forwards among the floating monochrome debris with feline elegance, "Why are you fighting for a human?"
     Darkness swallows Julius—
                                                       Why?
      But when he comes to, the Panther is nowhere to be seen, he still doesn't have an answer, and all that's left behind is his soul, his ruined world and the faint yet resounding, "I didn't know you'd be so easily provoked, young master Kade."

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AN: Today's a rather short chapter, it was pretty hard to get into Julius's head (he had a pretty tough magic shield around his mind), but I hope it gives you some idea of the conflict going on in his head.