His Shining Star

19

~May~

After a long audition day, it was nice to be able to come back to my apartment. Sebastian was leaving in a few days and we have a lovely weekend planned for the two of us... At least that's what he has been saying. I don't know what he has planned if I am being honest. It just feels like the first few weeks we were together, we were more in synced. Now... it doesn't feel all romantic at times like it was. He's just so distant.

I was on laying on my sofa watching a show on Netflix. I held a cool rag on my forehead as I rested my head against the back of the couch. I was exhausted and I was feeling sick.

"Hey! Elle!" Sebastian startled me on the inside. I didn't move. "Hey, you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine... I feel like getting sick." I mumbled.

"We can cancel the weekend plans." He suggested as he came over and sat down next to me.

"I don't want to cancel all of your plans though." I whined.

"Your health comes first. Besides we can do stuff here all weekend." He suggested.

"Oh, Okay, if you really don't mind." I sighed.

"I don't mind. I have an idea." He stated. "Give me an hour. You go in your room and take a nap. I'll come and get you when I'm all set up." He helped me up and moved me onto my bed in my room.

"Don't burn my apartment down." I teased him as I covered my nose in my elbow to sneeze.

"Alright, take a nap. You deserve it." He exited my room as he shut off my lights and shut the door behind him. Maybe he is right. Maybe I should just sleep and I'll be better later.

I stared off at the ceiling and just contemplated on things. My question is whether Sebastian is serious about our relationship. Something just tells me that he doesn't want any future with me. I just wish we had established this when we started to date again. Maybe it's too soon to bring it up.

In high school, I pictured settling down with him. I can see us getting married. Not only that, I can imagine us purchasing our first house. Maybe have our own kids. Adopting a dog. Having weekend movie nights. I vision us teaching our kids how to dance or sing. I can see us having barbecues. Celebrating Christmas and watching the ball drop from our living room sofa. I want to grow old with him. He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't want to live without him.

"Elle?" Sebastian came in after what it felt like was forever. "Are you ready for an amazing, relaxing weekend that will cure any sickness?"

"What do you have planned? Just being with you is enough." I pointed out as I stretched my body and slowly began to get out of bed.

"No, I promised you an amazing weekend. That's what I will do." He stated as I wrapped my arm around his. He guided me into my living room, dining room, and kitchen combined. There were layers of blankets and a few pillows on my sofa. There were fairy lights above the couch. There was a cup of tea on one of the stands next to the couch along with a remote control. He had several books out, and even a few board games.

"Wow, you didn't have to do this." I gasped.

"I wanted to." He reassured. "Come on," he stated. He guided me to the couch and we both sat down. He propped up the footrest. He laid two of the many blankets on me.

"What's first on your agenda?" I asked.

"Well, I was going to order some pizza and we can watch some movies." He began.

"You know me so well." I smiled. For me when I'm sick, I hate having soup and that kind of stuff. I love eating pizza when I'm sick. I usually crave it the most. Maybe it was because as I got older, my dad was usually never around when I was sick. My mom was dead. I had to learn to take care of myself. When I was sick, I made whatever oven made pizzas there were in the freezer. It was my comfort food.

"Alright, you decide what to watch while I go order us some pizza." He smirked.

"Sounds good." I nodded. "Oh, and Sebastian..." I paused as he turned to face me. "Thank you."

"I'd do anything for you." He grinned.

Maybe I shouldn't bring it up. Things are great. Things aren't going south. Life's good. Part of me just wants to know what he is planning.

I scrolled through the movie list on my tv and decided on watching a classic: Titanic.

"Again?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You could never watch enough of young Leonardo DiCaprio." I laughed.

"Pizza is ordered, and will be here—I wanna say in about forty five minutes." Sebastian explained.

"Sounds good. Meaning we can start the movie." I grinned.

"Fun." He chuckled as he snuggled next to me and propped his footrest up. He wrapped his arm around me and I leaned into his chest.

It was the scene when Rose finds Jack dead even when they never let go. She was calling out for the lifeboat. I felt myself crying.

"It's just a movie." Sebastian pointed out.

"I know, but if he had lived, she would have had her entire life with him." I wiped my tears.

"I mean yeah, but who knows... maybe she would have moved on as it is." Sebastian commented.

"How could you say that? They would have obviously been the end game. They would have grown old together." I pointed out.

"Yeah, but i am saying that maybe this was just a fling they had and it was death talking." Sebastian replies. I just sat up and paused the movie.

"So what do you think this is?" I blurted out. If he feels this way about a movie, than how would he feel about us going further than a fling. "Because if you are feeling this way about a sad and tragic movie, than what would happen if I were on my death bed now? Would you just say these things cause of a near death experience and would you just go find someone else to screw around with?"

"Why are you acting this way?" He asked.

"I need to know where you think this relationship is going." I admitted. "Because clearly based on what you think about this classic movie and what not, I need to know."

"I think we should just see how this goes. I mean we did break up once, and you did push me away for over a year." He confessed.

"I think, I'd like to be alone." I muttered.

"Oh come on—I'm not saying there is no chance of us lasting, I'm just saying, it has only been a few months." He pointed out.

"Sebastian, we have dated for two years before this whole mess. I just want to know if there will ever be a chance." I pointed out.

"Elle—you can't just spring this on me." He responded.

"I am looking for a long term relationship, and if you aren't sure if you can offer that, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." I muttered.

"Elle, can we just..." I cut him off.

"No, I think you should leave. Have fun filming the movie." I said angrily.

"I'll let you cool off. I'll call you later." He concludes as he grabbed his coat and keys and what not, and hurried out. That answered my questions I have been asking. Like it is super soon to determine, but I wanted to know if he even wanted to consider having a long term relationship or even want to be together forever. I just need to know if I'm wasting my time.