•honeypot thoughts• a book of poems

"Who Knows"

I have so much to say
Words pile up on tongue as my mind races faster than my fingers
But I can't even type without my exhale getting caught in my throat
[Inhale exhale inhale exhale]
I miss you and maybe it's the hormones but one day is too long and your touch and your smile is necessary
but my mind wonders when i get upset
It instigates my soul and pushes my limits
my eyes tear up and I don't even realize the thoughts that go through my head as I see something as simple as a girl you have some history
I pray to the Gods I don't believe in
That you never look at her the way you look at me
That your heart never races the way it does when you dance
Although it would make the most sense right?
a dancer with a dancer, to be on the same wavelengths
maybe I'm crazy
I feel like we are connected, on the same level but when we go to your second home I feel like a stranger
you tell me to calm down
As if telling a hurricane of tears and fears to stop, will cease its existence
writing this in my own notes feels safe, protected.
I wanna send this to you but my words and my feelings make me feel naked
I feel more vulnerable telling you my emotions than when I'm top of you
I feel more scared to hit copy and paste and hit send than to kiss you
So instead I will say I'm all good
my heart feels heavy like concrete but through a text it's discreet
Back into normalcy but I feel the opposite
••
"Wholesome" (unfinished)
your eyes crinkle shut as your smile wrinkles up,
the warmth I feel when you look at me,
Never really thought I'd be this happy,
senior season we in the best spot to be,
no words spoken,
Your love like a token,
Chuck E. Cheese like shit you got me cheesin'
Our looks show we're teasing,