Chapter 11

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Kennedy

We've been trying to access my hidden memories for days now. Every time we would get close, my mind would shut us out and I would end up unconscious for hours.

"I think we should take a break," Stefan said.

"I need to know oaky. What demons lurk behind my past that are so bad I locked them away. I need to know Stefan."I said to him.

"How about we focus on something else. How about we focus on getting control of your magic?" He asked.

"Fine," I said reluctantly.

"Now, your body accumulates a lot of magic, and it all builds up until you flare-up. Eventually, that flare leads to a blackout. Now I think that maybe you need to place that excess magic into something. An object that is always close to you and you have access to when you are in need of that magic again."

"Like a totem?" I asked

"Exactly like a totem. You are a powerful witch, you just need to learn to control the magic. Right now you are letting it control you. I can teach you how to take that excess magic out and place it into a totem, then how to access that magic when you need it without flaring out or blacking out." He said.

"I've been with this stupid coven for years and I am just now hearing about this?" I asked.

"You weren't ready to learn about it all before. But now that you are pregnant you're at a greater risk. Especially because your DNA is mixing with that of your wolf children and it will cause not only your emotions to be riled up but also your magic. If you become uncontrollable we don't know the amount of destruction you could cause." Now that scared me. I know I had a lot of magic, but not enough to become destructive.

"This isn't even my fault, if the coven had not experimented on me and made me this supercharged witch I wouldn't have this problem," I said.

"The coven didn't do that to you," he said.

"What do you mean? I'm pretty sure I remember being tied down and injected with all kinds of magic. I remember hearing spells that made my skin crawl and feeling like I was dying." I said.

"How old were you when all of that happened?" he asked me.

"I was thirteen."

"When you were thirteen, you had a flare, and you managed to take down 3 other witches with you. The three of you were unctuous for months. When you all woke up, you had the idea the coven had experimented on you and you were the only successful one while the other three lost all of their magic. That all happened because you had channels there magic and took it from them. Also, you flared up because some of your memory was coming back. That specifies one to be exact. The coven didn't experiment on you, Kennedy. Whoever did it is somewhere in your memories." He said. I looked at him confused.

"That doesn't make sense, you're lying to me. Three other girls remember the same thing happening to them. You're just lying to cover up what you did." I said.

"When you were thirteen, you got really angry because one of your mentors upset you. You lost control of yourself. You nearly killed half of the coven. When the coven tried to stop you and calm you down, they hit you with too much magic and when you went unconscious, three others also went unconscious. You locked yourself to them mentally. Once that happened, some of your memory spilled into the subconscious of who you were linked to." He said.

"Then why does it seem like the coven had a big part in it of all?" I asked.

"You were already angry at the coven, now add in the fact you can't actually remember who did those things to you, you made the bad guys into the first thing your mind could think of. You saw the coven leaders as your enemy growing up, so that who they became in your subconscious to try and piece that memory together,"

"So you're saying I was experimented on by someone else when I was younger? And the only time I remembered it was later but I got the bad guys wrong?" I said. I could feel my breath becoming heavier.

"Yes, your mind did its best to piece together what was happening, and since you were linked to those girls, they saw what you saw and thought the same way."

"What happened to them?" I asked

"I don't think you're ready to know."

"Tell me!" I yelled

"They died. You not only drained them of their magic, but you also took their lives." My eyes went wide.

"I killed three people? Why don't I remember it?" Tears stung at the back of my eyes.

"You wiped it from your memory like you did your childhood. The pain of killing those three girls took a toll on you. I believe your mind hides the painful thoughts and memories to protect you. There could be a lot of things you may not remember about your life because the pain was too hard to bear." I said.

"So I could have killed a lot more people and hid it from my mind? I'm a monster. That's not protecting myself, that not feeling the emotions at all and being cold and heartless. Something is wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it." I said.

"We will fix it all, I promise." He said taking my hands into his own. "You are not a monster, I can assure you that."

The doors to the room opened, and in walked a bloody Jonah and Willa. 

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