A fire burns today // Billie joe fan fiction

[28] im sorry

I and Billie began to move everything out of our hotel room in silence. When I had woken up he was already packing everything back up, I didn't say anything more to him apart but instead getting up. Changing and beginning to pack my bags back ready to put in billies car and start to head back.

I began to put all my clothes into my suitcase, Billie, since he had been up god longs how much more before me, he had already done his suitcase. He just sat on the sofa quietly on his phone. The quietest I had ever seen Billie since... well since ever.

Once I had all my clothes in, I couldn't actually zip up the suitcase. I tried holding it down and zipping it but I couldn't do it on my own. Last time, Billie had helped me zipping it back up by me sitting on it and him zipping it. But I just sort of tried and struggled doing it myself.

"Marsha!" I heard Casey say as the hotel door swung open, to reveal her standing there.

I quickly looked up at her, Billie had also looked up. "Casey! Can you help me? I need help with zipping this up." I asked to her, sort of half smiling. But man was I glad she came, if I had to sit in any more silence any longer I might have just lost my mind.

"Sure, sure! Here I'll sit on it and you zip it up." She smiled as she closed the hotel door and ran over to me on the floor struggling with the suitcase. She sat herself on it as I zipped it up much more easily than without her help.

"Thanks, Casey," I smiled as we both stood up.

"It's okay, I came to say goodbye. To both of you." She said looking over at Billie too, who looked up from his phone. And smiled a little. I felt Casey wrap me into a hug as I hugged her back. "Are you both okay yet?" She whispered quietly in my ear. Making sure it wasn't at a volume Billie could hear it. I shook my head in her arms and she nodded taking note then pulled away. I watched her as she walked over to Billie and extended her arm to shake his hand. He looked up at her and smiled a little shaking her hand. "Nice meeting you Armstrong, I'll see you very soon."

"You will?" He asked, the first time I had heard his voice today.

"Yeah, I'm obviously gonna be coming to visit Tre."

"So you would visit Tre but not me!" I interrupted looking over at her pretending to be hurt.

"You never asked me to!" She laughed walking back over to me. "Anyway. I should probably go back and help Mike and Tre with the drums. Just erm- be good,"

"Be good? we're not children." Billie laughed still on his phone.

"Well, you both sure act like you are."

I couldn't help but smile a little.

"Okay anyway, Both of you. Be good, and sort things out will you? This silence is too weird. Especially coming from the two of you." She laughed. Before waving goodbye and leaving me and Billie, alone again in the hotel room.

"I'm gonna- take this to the car," Billie awkwardly stated to me, meaning the suitcase he had next to the sofa as he got up and grabbed the handle. He said it with no real expression behind it and his face just sort of still. So I nodded as he left to take it to the car.

I was ready to go down to the car too, so I waited till he came back up. And we left and locked up the hotel, gave back the keys and thanked them. I put my suitcase beside Billies in the boot as we got into the car and began to drive in silence.

"Can I- turn the radio on?" I asked him, awkwardly looking over to him. He had his hand through his hair looking at the road.

"Oh, erm- yeah."

I clicked on the radio so we weren't sat in complete silence. But the drive back home was long.

You ever go somewhere for the first time? And on the way there it feels like forever but the way back always seems faster. Because the route you take feels familiar and it's not the first time you've been there? Well In my case that was wrong.

Talking to Billie on the way there made two hours feel like twenty minutes. But not talking to him, feeling the tension between us, the awkwardness and no sound but the radio, made two hours feel like four.

He dropped me off at mine, as I tried to thank him but he nodded. I got out of the car and he drove off. As I walked to the front door with my suitcase wheeled behind me I realised a note on the door.

'Hi darling, if you get back before I do. I'm only at Ollie's, so just come over, Miss you and can't wait to see you, lots of love. Mom'

As if my luck, my life, my chances couldn't get worse. So now I had to wheel a fucking suitcase all the way back to Billie Joes. So I did, I began to walk to Ollies with my suitcase. And knocked on the door.

"Oh hi dear!" Ollie smiled hugging me. I was just glad it wasn't Billie. "Your mother's just sat in the kitchen with me." She smiled letting me in as she took my suitcase. "I'm glad you're here, Billie has been in a mood since he came back and I was hoping you could cheer him up." She said leaving my suitcase in the corner of her living room.

"Marsha!" My mom smiled getting up from the table and coming over to hug me. I hugged her back. Said hi to her, and Ollie let me know Billie was just in the back garden, I would have asked if I could just stay with the two of them instead but before I could ask Ollie lead me to the Black door and opened it, I saw Billie at the bottom. Kicking a football around effortlessly. With his hands in his pockets and his head facing the floor.

"Billie! Marsha is here since Her mom is here. Hopefully, she can cheer you up. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." She said grabbing Billies attention and then walked back into the house. Leaving me at the top of the garden awkwardly with Billie looking my way. I looked around as I awkwardly sat in one of the chairs at the front. Billie carried on kicking the ball.

He started to kick the ball a bit more up the garden as he came closer, he then booted it into the shed aggressively and came and sat next to me in the chair beside the one I had sat in.

"Look," he said, breaking the silence as I looked over at him. He looked back at me. "I'm sorry I snapped at you the way I did last night and left you at the bar for Tre to take you home. I'm sorry I drove away and left you to cry on your own. I'm sorry I was shouting at you and didn't let you talk... I was just upset." He shrugged.

"Billie," I said softly, enjoying the moment we were actually speaking. "I'm not scared you're gonna cheat on me, I know you aren't like that. At least anymore anyway. I'm just scared because: well this is my first relationship. And I don't know what I'm doing either. And I'm scared that if this doesn't go right I'm gonna lose you too like I worried I did last night."

"You've- you've never had a boyfriend?" He asked me shocked. I laughed slightly.

"No."

"Oh damn- y'know I don't think you ever actually mentioned that."

"But I know you care about me, and I care about you. And I don't think you're gonna fuck this up, it's just when I went and met Casey in the café, I ran into Lucy and she told me a lot. And it sort of scared me a little. But if you say you've changed I'm willing to believe you."

He smiled quickly. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"So... are we okay?" He asked, nervously.

"Of course,"

He got up and so did I as he pulled me tightly into him and hugged me. It felt good to hug him back. He placed his hand gently on the back of my head.

So that was that we were okay again. But we still weren't a thing. When would we be?