Innocence Lost (Darkiplier x Reader x Antisepticeye)

One

The rain pelted the window beside your bed. The water running down the glass obscured your view of everything outside; not that you would have seen much, if you were able to look. It was pitch black outside, well past midnight, and you were still awake.

There was blood smeared on the floor; you must have stepped in some without realizing. You shrugged it off and went back to staring at the ceiling in a stupor, completely numb to the outside world. Your mind had flatlined entirely; not a single thought to be found.

Even if there was something, it would not have been good.

The silence brought no solace; you lived alone, and you began to wonder if perhaps that was for the best. Living by yourself was wonderful for the most part, being a rather successful independent woman of twenty-four years of age, but it was times like these that made you question your living arrangements, among other things.

I'm too numb to do anything. I can't move. I don't even want to. What would I do if I did? Try again?

A crash of thunder startled you, and the following lightning strike lit up the cold, darkened bedroom for mere moments. But it was short-lived, like everything else in your life.

The ceiling began to spin and you had to shut your eyes against it before you became nauseous. That was the last thing you needed to do: throw up.

Please... I would give anything to be rid of this. Anything.

Anything at all.

*~♡~*

The air smelled like it always did after a heavy rainfall, and you breathed deeply, standing in the threshold to your home, peering outdoors at the sparkling wet surroundings. You felt marginally better than you had the night prior, and so had taken the opportunity to clean up the house a little bit while your mood was still higher than usual. You knew you would be thankful for it later.

Nothing helped. You had tried therapy with three separate therapists, all completely different, and all whom just didn't seem to understand just how bad your case was. All the exercises in the world did nothing, and so you had given up on therapy for the time being.

Pills also did not help, though they did give you one hell of a range of side effects. Nausea, dizziness, aching joints, even one that made your eyeballs go crazy in their sockets, twitching uncontrollably! What was the point of taking the pills if the side effects were worse than what was being treated? You had also given up on trying medication, but that left you with few options.

The day passed by at an agonizingly slow pace; even with all of the cleaning you were doing, it didn't help to pass the time all that much. And who were you cleaning it for, really? Nobody came over. Not even your neighbors; they pretty much kept to themselves for the most part. And you had few friends, not ones that you were willing to let into your private life. They were the type to not have understood what it was that you went through on a daily basis.

Now what the fuck do I do?

You sighed and eyed the house, sparkling clean from top to bottom. Thank fuck; it had been weeks since you were able to get anything done.

Still... I've got a bad feeling about tonight. I think I might get a bad episode soon. I'd better batten down the hatches.

Which meant trying to be as gentle with yourself as you were able. Sometimes, when fate decided to fuck you over, you would go through a good period of time where everything felt great. And then life would let everything come crashing down around you like a forest fire, raining ash and hellfire from the skies.

No, don't fucking think about that! Go on, get out of the house and do something to distract yourself!

*~♡~*

You ended up in a bookstore of all places. But the quiet atmosphere was so soothing that you were drawn into it, unable to help yourself. The scent of the books and the comforting silence made you breathe deeply as you stepped inside.

What were you looking for? You weren't entirely sure. Eventually you found your way to the self-help books, curiosity getting the better of you. Perhaps there was something there that could help even with your condition? It was worth a shot.

But nothing really seemed to stand out in terms of mental health. You knew why; most of the books would have simply told you to go to a trained professional when it came to things of that nature.

Demon Summoning For Idiots? What kind of self-help book is that?

With a bit of a grin you grabbed it from the shelf, casually flipping through the pages. There were graphic images of Hell, of demons and the monstrous beings they were, and of the summoning themselves. Bloody, messy, nasty rituals, really.

But it was entertaining to look at, and you found yourself carrying the book to the register minutes later.

Maybe I'll even try to summon something tonight. Just for shits and giggles. What could go wrong, I get a little spooked? Big deal.

   

(Sorry for the short first chapter but I was too eager to get the ball rolling on it!)