Who are you? {nohyuck}

14.

Panic room

Hyuck's Pov

It's all familiar. I can't stop getting scared. I'm scared. What scares me? I want to find out but how. I'm in my room and my mother just carried Jeno into the living room. I want to be alone. I want to be in my room. In my own room alone. No one can hurt me in here but the silence is so loud. I'm still waiting to know what's wrong with me and my hands are still shaking. These voices in my head. I can't stop them. 'You made everything worse. No one cares about you anymore. He just wanted to hurt you. You want attention nothing more.'

I want to be alone but.. maybe I just have to disappear. No. The voice followed me here but I can't lose. I have to think of good memories. Memories never die. Maybe some good memories with Mark. Mark was always there for me.... but why.. why is Jeno always appearing in my mind.
"Do you remember now? Stop acting like you forgot about us... our love, everything...." 

"Our love..."-

Someone knocked on the door. "Sunshine, can Jeno sleep in your bed?", my mom asked me. I can't. I can't see him until I've sorted my thoughts out. "No.", I answered knowing that she would respect my decision. She went downstairs.

What did he mean with "our love". I stood up walking around in my room. I have to find something from before the car accident. The shelf, nothing, My wardrobe, nope, behind pictures, no, under my bed.... I looked under my bed. Socks, my old Gameboy, a sketchbook, a package... I don't remember what's in this. I opened it and there was a letter.

"HBD haha,
Some memories that we should never forget (you always say that it's useless that I'm taking these haha but I believe that it will help us)
Love you... sincerely your Jeno"

This was 2 years ago. There are some pictures in it with something written on their back:

"We took this at the mall haha I look ridiculous but you look so handsome in this. That's why we didn't throw it away."

"This was the same day. You wanted to kiss me but you were a panicked gay (you probably still are haha)"