𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆 [𝒍𝒓𝒉]

15 | two broken hearts

I reccomend you to listen to Lived a Lie by You Me At Six. The lyric does not fit to what happens in the chapter but the overall vibe of the song is exactly how I imagined the atmosphere to be :)

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We had laid down and were now staring at the dark sky. There were only a few stars visible, but the moon that was half full provided enough light to make our skin look shiny. The atmosphere was magical enough to look like it came directly from a fantasy book.

"I'm sorry that you have to see me like this", I mumbled ashamed as we both were alone. "I somehow always end up crying in front of you."

"Never be sorry for your feelings", he said, adding "I'd be the last one to ever judge you for crying" after a while.

I turned my had from the sky to the side so that I could look at him. He was still looking up to the sky, all of his features clearly visible through the soft shine of the moon, making it possible for me to study his side profile.

I caught myself staring a bit too intense at his nose who was perfectly shaped, wondering how it could be, that a nose looked that good and I once again asked myself how I never paid attention to the beauty that was going on right under my nose.

His chest was slowly moving up and down.

"I just feel so lost", I whispered.

His head moved so that our gazes met. There was something oddly comforting laying in his eyes, that immediately made me feel something I hadn't felt in a while. Hope.

There might really be a chance of letting go of Mason and finding someone new who could make me feel the way he did.

But little did I know that this person was closer than I'd ever dreamed of and only waiting for me to be ready to start over.

"Don't we all feel like that sometimes?", he said softly, his eyes not letting go of mine.

"What do you do when you're lost?", I asked for his advice.

"I usually write a song", he answered, giving me a warm smile, "Music is my favourite way to express my feelings. A melody combined with a lyric that comes from the bottom of a heart can make one feel things they weren't aware existed."

I couldn't help but be amazed about what he just had said. I liked it when guys were passionate about something that was artistic. Whether it was art, music or acting, there was just something attractive in the fact that there were boys who let their creativity flow without being scared of being judged for it.

The dizziness of being drunk had left my body at once and I felt completely sober even though I probably wasn't, but I could think straight again without feeling a sting in my temple.

"Can I hear it?", I wondered.

"Someday maybe", he whispered, turning the head back to the night sky.

"I'd really like that", I smiled, copying his action.

I never wanted this moment to stop and there was no person on earth I had rather spent the night with talking about my feelings. Whenever I was with Luke, my feelings became clear and I could finally look through them and put them into place. Talking about how I felt – something I usually hated to do – was so easy with him. I didn't overthink, I just said what was going on inside of me because I somehow knew he would understand.

I started to wonder if there was some sort of connection between us. If there always had been. There was a reason why I started to open up to him the night he stepped into the kitchen while I was making a hot chocolate. I didn't know the reason jet, but I was optimistic that I'd figure it out one day, when the time was ready.

Right now, I was satisfied with laying here with him while staring at the deep of the sky.

"Do you know how long it takes to heal a broken heart?", I continued with another question.

I knew I was asking him a lot and I usually never did, but I somehow knew that it didn't bother him and that I'd receive a truthful answer, so I didn't want to stop. It was nice to know that he listened.

"I don't", he sighed sadly, "I'm still waiting for mine to be cured."

"Who broke it?", I dared to ask.

He didn't reply for a while but then I realized that he was again looking at me, waiting to make eye contact before he'd give me an answer.

Of course, I did, even though I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer to my question once I saw the tears that were bottling up in his eyes, ready to break out.

Who hurt him?

"Home", he said, his voice breaking and one of the tears gliding down his cheeks, dropping onto the floor.

Thanks to the alcohol that was still remaining in my blood, I had enough courage to do what I did next. I slipped as close to him as I could and laid my head on his chest. As soon as I touched him, his arms embraced me the best they could, considering the fact that we were lying on the hard stone floor.

I could hear his irregular heartbeat beating against my ear and wished I knew how to take away all of his pain or at least how to calm him down, but I didn't. All I could do was to lay there and hold him tightly, hoping that it made him feel at least a little bit better.

This is how the night that started out with so much fun ended. Two broken hearts trying to ease the pain, while not letting go of the other. We were looking at the stars, wondering if it'd ever go away. But what we didn't know was that the solution was already laying in our arms. 

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Rather short but cute chapter :))

I also updated "overthinker" today, if you might want to check it out :)

It's not a story, but simply a collection of my thoughts :D