𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆 [𝒍𝒓𝒉]

17 | I miss you

Song of the chapter: I miss you by Blink 182

I added as media the cover of 5sos because why not ;)

☆☆☆

"Jade, I had a missed call of you", he started.

"Mason", I breathed out, relieved by the sound of his voice.

"I was so scared, that you wouldn't pick up", he whispered.

I remained quiet for a few seconds, thinking about what I should say, before I began to speak, "I'm so sorry about the way I treated you..."

"I just- it was all too much for me and I didn't know how to react", I added as explanation.

"It's fine Jade, I kind of dropped a big bomb on you, I shouldn't have expected you to understand right away", I heard him through the speaker of my phone.

"But I do now", I said, and my heartrate was finally calming down. "I've though a lot about it and come to the realisation that I miss you but not only as my boyfriend, more as my best friend."

"I miss you too, Jade. And I am truly sorry of how things turned out", the tone in his voice told me that he was saying the truth. Of course, I believed him, Mason would never hurt anyone on purpose.

"I'd really like to give you a hug right now", I said, turning myself around, laying with the belly facing downwards on my bed, "A big fat hug to make up for being such a shitty friend when you were going through a tough time. This is so overwhelming for me, I can't imagine how overwhelming it must be for you."

"It's not that easy at the moment... I came out to my parents on Wednesday and ever since things have been weird", he took a deep breath before he continued, "My mum is super supportive and accepted it right away, but my dad –"

At this point his voice broke off. For a moment I thought that the signal died but then I heard an almost silent snob from the other side of the line.

"What did he do?", I asked, ignoring the sting in my heart that told me not to.

I didn't know if I could handle it.

"He said that I'm a disappointment", he whined.

I swallowed hard. I had always known that his father was rather strict and that he expected only the best of his son, but I would have never guessed that he was a homophobic person.

He shouldn't be disappointed in his son for something he had no say in.

"I'm so sorry, Mason", was the best I managed to say.

"But let me tell you, you are not a disappointment, he should be proud of you for being brave enough to come out of the closet, he should accept you for who you are. He's the disappointment, not you."

"Thank you, I really needed to hear that", his breathing returned to be more controlled.

My lips turned up as I heard his chuckle, I knew that I had done something to make him feel better and this meant the world to me.

We spent a two more hours talking and it felt nice to be closer to him again. And even though we were broken up, we could still have the same conversations as we had during the time we still were a couple what only proved to me, that there might not be such a big difference between a best friend and a boyfriend.

After talking about it, we both figured it would be the best, if we didn't write our song as a duet since it just seemed a bit too early to work on something like that together. It was more of a disadvantage for me than it was for Mason since he was by far the better musician than I was, but I still saw it as the best possible solution.

So I spent the rest of the morning in my room trying to come up with a melody that was catchy and unique at the same time. I was a quite skilled guitarist when I had the melody written down in front of me and I was also not too bad in playing a song I knew without even looking at the scores, but the thing was that I was only good at playing songs that already existed. Now that I was expected to be creative and come up with a completely new song, it was just too much for me and I had no idea where to start.

How should I know? I have never written a song before or at least not alone. Whenever we had to do so in class, I paired up with a talented friend of mine who did most of the work. I'm not saying that I was the lazy kid who sat back and watched the others to the work for me, because I tried, I really did, but all of my ideas just turned out to be shitty so we would always end up using my partner's suggestion.

I began to be really frustrated at the end of the session. About three hours had past and I was not even a little bit further as I was before, and it really bothered me. How was I supposed to hand the song in in time if I didn't even have a basic idea of what it'd sound like.

I really wanted it to go into punk or rock, but I knew that even if I managed to write the melody and lyric one day, I wouldn't be capable of singing it. I could sing soft pop songs that had a small range of tones but not more. I have never taken any singing lessons; my voice wasn't skilled at all.

I gave up around twelve because my stomach was craving something to eat.

As we were all sitting around the kitchen table, eating some pizza we found in the refrigerator, my mum asked me how I was doing since I haven't talked to her much ever since the day I informed her about the break up.

"I'm actually doing fine and I mean it", I remembered that she and Dad didn't even knew the reason why Mason broke up with me in the first place so I decided to fill them in on everything that they didn't know before I ended my speech with the phone call we had this morning.

"I'm glad to hear that you feel better", Dad said, leaving the rest of what I said uncommented.

"The only problem I'm left with is, that I have to write a song within the next two weeks, and I have absolutely no idea how I should manage that", I sighed.

"That's no problem, I can help you with that."

A pair of deep blue eyes was sparkling at me from excitement and I couldn't help but feel the excitement as well.

I hadn't complained about my task with the intention to receive Luke's help but now, that he offered it, I was happy that I did.

I'd take every excuse I got to spent time with him especially if that meant that I could hear him sing.

"You're the best", I grinned widely, breathing out relieved. 

☆☆☆

I hope you enjoyed xx

I'm currently super motivated for this story, so I hope you still like it as much as in the beginning.

And now that thighs are settled down between Jade and Mason, Juke can finally develop thehe.