𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆 [𝒍𝒓𝒉]

29 | him, me and us

Day 34, Saturday

Four days had passed since our movie night and I was starting to get used to call Luke my boyfriend. We spend all day together, during the mornings and afternoons with Cal together but then at night, when the whole house was already asleep, we met each other downstairs and sat on the balcony.

Somehow talking was a lot easier when we were at the fresh air than it was inside even though talking to him had never been an issue. Our Conversations always flew smoothly and if there was silence, it always happened to be a comfortable one.

Also this evening, we both sat outside, our chairs facing each other so that we could see the other's face, a big red candle standing on the table next to us. The distance between us was not big, so I lifted my legs up and laid them on my boyfriend's lap, followed by him resting his hands on my upper legs, squeezing them gently, but not in a sexual way.

I had something I wanted to talk to him about, but I had no clue how I should approach this topic. "Luke?"

I knew I didn't have to say his name to catch his attention because we both were the only thing that seemed to be existing whenever we were alone, but I didn't want to ask him out of the blue.

"Jade?"

"Do you remember when we met Ashton and Michael in the store?"

"I'm only a year older than you, I don't have Alzheimer just now", he chuckled, and I got in.

It was impossible not to do so. There was just something about his laugh, that generally made me smile like a Cheshire cat.

"Something they said left me wondering", mumbled after I caught myself again. I awkwardly lowered my head, glancing at my fingernails even though they weren't even painted and waited for him to give me permission to continue asking; I didn't want to push him into it.

"And what was it?"

I looked up to find him raising an eyebrow, not knowing what I was getting at.

"They said that you're usually not showing any interest in any girls... what did they mean by that?"

The look on his face softened, his hands caressed my thighs and the panic inside of me immediately drifted away. But his deep blue eyes, that reflected the light of the candle lowly, radiated an uncomfortable vibe, telling me that this wasn't a topic he loved to talk about.

"It means that I have never had a girlfriend before", his voice was low and quiet, but I could still understand him clearly.

His words surprised me. I wouldn't have thought that he never had a girlfriend. I knew that she didn't just use girls for sex, like my brother did, but I still wouldn't have thought that he had never been in a relationship before. I'm sure he could have, he's a pretty boy and also quite popular at school.

I mean, yes, he didn't belong to the popular group but he had made himself - together with his friends - a name at school since they had founded a band called 5 seconds of summer and had already performed a few times at school festivals. "How does that come? I'm sure I could name at least three girls at once who would be dying to go on a date with you."

He shrugged. Now was he the one who broke our eye contact and glanced at his fingertips. "I don't know... Never wanted to."

I could hear in the tone of his voice that there was more to it, but I wouldn't ask. If he wanted to tell me, he would do it, and if he didn't feel ready, that would be okay too.

But I was still glad, as he looked up again, deciding to tell me what the real reason was. "there's no need for an extra drama in my life"

"I just feel like, there aren't many people I can trust. I can't even trust my family, how am I supposed to trust someone who meets me at a party and who probably only wants to fuck me and exit my life as fast as they entered it?

I need more than that. Someone who makes me feel like I don't find the answer to my problems on the bottle of an empty bottle of vodka or tequila. Someone who listens to what I say and doesn't walk out on me, after they realize what a mess I am."

He paused for a few seconds, giving me enough time to grab his hand and holding it tightly, to show, that I'll never let go.

His eyes were deeply staring at me, making me feel like I was the only girl who ever existed in the whole wide world. "I need someone like you"

"Talking to you makes me feel save and like I am not the only person in this world who has demons to fight. And ever since we both started talking to each other I, started to think less about drinking all my problems away. I still do sometimes but by far not as often as I used to."

My eyes started tearing up and I couldn't help but feel thankful that he was there with me and I could call him "mine".

So that is what he was doing at all the parties. While Calum went from one girl to another, the blue-eyed boy poured himself a drink. Probably more than just one or two and tried to forget. I didn't know just yet, what he was trying to drown, but I knew that it had something to do with his family, so it had to be bad, otherwise it wouldn't affect him this much.

I felt so bad for him that the only way out seemed to get drunk whenever he got the chance to, but it also explained why him and Calum stole the tequila from our parents basement.

At the same time, I was proud of him that he thought less about it. And to know that I was the reason for that made me smile a little. Helping someone by simply liking them was one of the greatest feelings I had ever experienced.

I stood up from my chair and walked climbed onto his lap, holding his neck with one hand while the other one was running through his soft curls. The light of the candle was blocked out by my body so I could only barely recognize his features. "What have I done to deserve you?" I breathed on his lips before I put mine on his. He returned the kiss and deepened it by running his tongue over my lips. Of course, I immediately granted him entry.

Even though we had kissed a lot before, the feeling of his mouth on mine still left me stunned, not being able to think straight.

He wrapped his arms around my butt, pulling me as close as I could possibly be.

There I was, making out with the most beautiful person, from inside and out, nothing else being heard than the sound of our lips crashing together followed by heavy breathing. The night was dark and there was no moon to be seen, only the light shine of the candle next to us but we had forgotten about it a long time ago.

There were only three things that mattered in this very moment: him, me and most importantly: us.

☆☆☆

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