Reincarnated as the Villainess... Yeah, I'm Doomed

Chapter Three: Fallen Angel

I spent the next two months studying state affairs and training in swordsmanship and magic. Tutoring was going well, as to be expected from an eleven year old who had been to college (in her past life of course). I had learned the basic roles and positions in the government, along with the current economic status of each fief along with their biggest exports and imports. Our fief was known for it's trade and crops. Not only did we have mild weather which was perfect for farming, but we also had a booming port town that had established trade with multiple kingdoms.

While I was succeeding in my studies, I was suffering in both magic and swordsmanship. In the otome game, Callista was not very gifted when it came to magic. She, along with her brother Caden had manifested the element of fire, and though her brother was a strong magician, Callista had little to offer. In hopes that my lack of skill was caused by my past self's indifference towards magic, I decided to focus on increasing the strength of my mana. Sadly, my efforts proved fruitless, and after two months of training I could barely light a few candles.

Swordsmanship was no easy feat either. Swords were heavy and I was small. Even though I had received a sword made for my size, it was still too heavy for my noodles, I mean my arms. So, instead of practicing sword drills, my instructor was forcing me to do strength training every day. Caden, of course, had no qualms with this and enjoyed watching me suffer.

Though my brother was no help in my training with the sword, I has reason to believe we were getting along better than before. Instead of completely ignoring me and looking at me like I was a disgusting piece of trash, he now enjoyed teasing me relentlessly. It was not the best outcome after my recent transformation, but it was definitly better than before.

"Honestly Callista, I forget the you are a girl sometimes." My brother laughed as he entered the training ground. Today, my instructor Sir Ivan had made me alternate between push-ups, sit-ups, and the bane of my existence, burpees.

"I definitely don't feel like one." I complained, grabbing a towel to wipe my sweat. Caden was not wrong, in fact, most people would have probably mistaken me for a boy if they saw me. I wore a tunic and trousers with my hair tied back in a low pony tail. It didn't help that my already boyish clothes were covered with grass, dirt, and sweat. The past Callista would have fainted if she saw what I looked like now.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, plopping down on the grass. Caden took a seat beside me.

"I was just curious," Caden began, lying down on the ground and placing his hands behind his head.

"You changed so suddenly, it's like you became a new person. Did something happen that caused it? Did Prince Philip say he was into manly girls or something?" He asked. I took a minute to think before answering. There was no way I could tell him about my past life without him thinking that I was crazy, so this would be a hard question to answer.

"First off, Prince Philip has nothing to do with this." I clarified, bringing my knees to my chest.

"Secondly, I don't like the term manly to describe the changes I have made. I am a woman, and I am doing these things as a woman, so there is nothing 'manly' about it."

I paused and waited for my bother to disagree. He didn't.

"Now, to answer your question, I probably just got fed up with myself." This wasn't a lie, I despised the person I was before remembering my past. Though most of my actions are influenced by the memories of my past life, I was still the Callista who made those mistakes.

"Also, after the accident with Prince Philip, what you said really impacted me. I realized that living with the luxuries of a noble comes with responsibilities. In a world where power is not given to everyone, those who have power have the choice to either misuse it, ignore it, or try to make something of it. While many people have conflicting morals when it comes to how we should use our power, it is still our responsibility to use it to the best of our abilities. If not, we are simply ignoring our duty as nobles and bringing shame to ourselves and those close to us. That's why I want to learn how I can use the power I have received as a noble, so I can take full responsibility for myself. To me, it's freeing."