Mad Ember

11: Attack

The songs I add before a chapter hint to the feelings and messages that will rise within it. It gives my characters a real voice. It brings them to life. All songs will be provided! :) And the playlist is on spotify!

S O N G F O R C H A P T E R : "Way Down We Go"
B Y : KALEO

"Oh father tell me,
do we get what we deserve?
Oh we get what we deserve"

C O R B A N

It's funny how specific experiences can change your life so quickly.

Drastically.

It's that feeling when you know you will never be able to function the same way that you had before. You become a new person. And it's engraved in your memory forever. You remember every single detail exactly how it was; the clothes you wore, what you ate for breakfast, the day, the time... everything.

These are called flashbulb memories, and they are rare. Typically these happen for historical events, like the extinction. For me, as cliche as it sounds, it was seeing Ember.

I don't understand how I thought clearly before that dark and stormy night. It was like I had water in my ears and dirty glasses. I was seeing and hearing everything but not everything. Staying away from Ember is physically painful for me. Knowing that my mate is close, is by far the worst feeling in the world. I want to be able to show her my world, and I want to see hers. But I have a feeling that it won't ever be that simple. Which I don't mind. Simplicity is boring.

I know that right now, Ember needs to be on her own. Hearing her thoughts tells me this very clearly. I can almost see her trying to figure the situation out for herself, and I know she's close. She's a problem solver, and right now, I am her only problem. My wolf whines in my head. The thought makes him hurt, he wants to be able to be with his mate.

Lately, my wolf and I have been on edge. It's February, but we still get occasional frost as the cold season comes to a close. Thinking about Ember on her own makes my stomach twist. I tried rationalizing with myself; she has lived for twelve years on her own, she'll be okay. But my conscience can't rest when I'm in front of a warm fire with a hot drink and she could have nothing.

Without overthinking it, I gather a variety of warm clothes that I will give to her. I know that she will eventually go back to the quarry, considering she thinks about it a lot. So I decided I will take them there. I walk over to my desk and pull out a piece of paper. Quickly jotting a note;

'I'll be here every evening, stay safe and happy. ~Corban'

I quickly look at the note doubting myself. Should I really write this? Does it sound stupid? Do I seem stalkerish? I pull at my hair as different insecurities rush all through my brain. I just want to show her that I am giving her space because I care for her, and I know that it is what she wants. I don't want her to think I'm forgetting about her. I look at the note and shake my head. It's a bad idea.

I grab the clothes and head for the door, but stop just before I step out. I turn around and look to where I had discarded the note. What if she thinks it's from someone else? My wolf huffs and rolls his eyes in annoyance. I rush back to the short letter and stuff it in my pocket. I'll decide on the way but at least this way if I change my mind at the last second I'll still have it.

I fight the smile on my face as I shift into my wolf, the thought of Ember finding these and wearing my jacket and sweatshirts was leaving my wolf, and I'm giddy. But I fought it back. This wasn't a big deal; this was just me helping her out. I hope that's how she sees it as well, what if she doesn't take them? My wolf growls, telling me to shut up. I was distracting him from his run. Much to his wishes, I retreated to the back of my mind and just observed.