Lost Bird

15

         A/N

OK guys, really long chapter. I tried to write it quick, but I realised that I did want to get the first meeting out of the way, and that took forever to get to. Enjoy xx

         Raven stood in the middle of the living room trying to remember how to breath. He had a silent mantra going through his head, in, out, in, out. He had to remind himself that he loved his brothers and not to lash out when they didn't answer him right away.

"I said......what was her name?" He looked up and made eye contact with each one of his brothers. Trying to get them to understand how important this question was. There was no way they had said the name he thought. They were still just looking at him like fucking idiots. He was right on the edge of losing his shit completely when Corey edged forward and softly asked him "Ray, what's going on? Why are you so angry right now?"

         All Raven could do was blink at his lyubovnik (lover). Is he serious right now? He of all people knows how hard I've been looking for Moy malenkiy voin.

"Moy lyubovnik, please answer my question. What was her name? You of all peoples should understand why this is so important to me." Raven was on the verge of begging and he didn't even care. He needed a straight answer.

Corey looked at Raven confused until it hit him like a hammer. Oh, shit! It can't be. There is no way, she is just a girl named James. I am sure there are thousands of them out there. Corey stood up and made his way slowly over to Raven.

"It can't be her Ray. Why would she be here? It's just a coincidence that her name is James." He was so worried about what would happen if Raven was let down again. He really didn't think his best friend could take much more disappointment when it came to his childhood love. He reached out to try and comfort him, but Raven jerked away and started to breath heavier.

"Please moy lyubovnik, Corey, just say her name again." He dropped his head, worried the guys would see the tears gathering in his eyes.

         Brandon jumped up off the couch and shouted "What the fuck is going on? Why does Raven look like he is either going to murder someone or breakdown crying? He never gets emotional!" Brandon was not a hundred percent comfortable with his brother being so close to Raven when he looked so unstable. They all joked that Raven was their crazy Russian but he had never seen him so close to actually losing it before.

         Corey held up his hand and looked at his brother. "That is something Raven has to share if he is ready." He inched forward again and tried to get Raven to look at him. When he finally made eye contact his worst fears were right in front of him. Raven was close to being lost in his head and Corey was worried he wouldn't be able to reach him if he didn't stop it now. He placed his hand on his shoulder and pulled him into his arms to hold him.

"Please Corey, please just tell me her name. I have to know if I heard it right." Raven was speaking softly, almost whispering. Corey didn't know what to do, if he repeated it and it was not the name he was wanting to hear, Corey could lose him because of it. But he had to be honest with him. No matter the outcome, Raven had a right to know. He ducked down and nudged his chin up so they could make eye contact.

"James Voronoy." He said.

Raven just closed his eyes as his legs gave out under him. "It's her. It's her." He just kept repeating that. All the guys just stood around him shocked into silence and wondering what the hell he was talking about. Could Raven really know James. And if he did, why had they never heard of her before.

        Axel stepped forward to get Corey's attention. "Corey what the hell is going on? What is he talking about?"

"I don't know if I can tell you. This has to be something Ray shares. It's too personal for me to be the one to share." He looked at his brothers apologetically. He wanted to tell them, but he knew the story and how deep it ran into who Raven was. This girl, if it was her, was the one who had changed Raven's life so much he had turned his back on his family, all the things he had been raised and taught, to devote his life to helping people. Corey couldn't even imagine how special someone had to be to influence them so completely.