Lost Bird

17

       ******MATURE*******

          James took a deep breath and looked to Raven and tapped his forearm, which still had her in a death grip. "Moy Voron (my raven), can you let me up. This is going to take a while to explain and I need to have a little space to tell it." She smiled warmly as Raven frowned at her "Nyet! ya tol'ko chto nashel tebya snova. Ya ne otpushchu tebya v blizhaysheye vremya! (No! I have only just found you again. I am not letting you go anytime soon!)" James reached up and held his face in her hands. making sure he was looking at her as she said, "I promise Raven, I am not going anywhere. No more disappearing. I am here and I will stay as long as you want me, moya lyubov (my love)." She wasn't sure what had made her use the endearment, but it seemed to reassure Raven.

He loosened his arms, and she went to slide off his lap but he grabbed her back and kissed her again. Jesus, he can kiss! She pulled away and was a little disorientated before she heard someone coughing to cover a laugh. She blushed deeply and looked around. Yet again, no one seemed bothered by Raven's show of affection. The guys must have seen the confusion in her eyes, "We're all use to Raven's possessive tendencies. We just kind of roll with it. He's a caveman but we still love him." James laughed outright at what Marc said. She knew exactly what he was talking about.

       She slid to the floor and stood. "I think it's a Russian thing." She smiled lovingly at Raven and looked to the other guys. She was still nervous, but as soon as she had made the decision to be honest with them, it had felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She had never been able to share who she really was with anyone other than Max. Even with this new found freedom, she still wasn't sure how or where to start.

"I'm not sure where to start. Or how exactly to tell you who I am. I am going to try and be as honest as I can. I may miss out a few things, but just know that it's not me holding anything back or keeping things from you. I'm just not used to sharing. I have been so closed off from people for the last 9 or ten years that I may just forget some details. I will answer any questions you have, all I ask is you wait until I get through it all before you ask them. I don't know if I can make it all the way through if I have to stop and answer questions along the way." She looked up at the five men sitting in her living room.

She silently pleaded with them to understand and not get mad at her for wanting them to just sit and listen. Brandon stood up and walked over to her. "We understand gorgeous. Just take your time. We'll go at your pace. We've got all the time in the world." He pulled her to him and just held her tightly for a second. That one action released all of the tension James was holding. She looked up gratefully at Brandon and nodded.

"OK, so you probably know about my childhood from Raven. Well as much as he knew from the year we spent together. When I met Raven, I was in a pretty bad place. My family wasn't exactly loving. My Dad was not a good man, and his wife up until then, my stepmother Diane, was just as sadistic. The only thing I knew was, she was not my mother and they both hated the sight of me. I had no interaction with anyone outside of those two. Actually, no one even knew I existed until I ran into Raven that day." She smiled, lost in memory.

"Best day of my life so far." Raven reached out and squeezed her hand gently. James paced over to the large windows over looking the river and told them about the abuse, the disappearance of Diane, The death of Chris, meeting Max and how through it all she had been paying attention to what was happening around her. Learning as much as she could, so that when she was free she could take John down. She knew if she hadn't have been able to do that, she would never have been truly free. Always worried about him finding her.

As she finished telling them how John had died and how her and Max had ran, she realised that she had been silently crying. She lifted her hand and wiped away the tears, shaking her head. "It was scary for those first few days, but also so incredible. I knew deep down that no one knew about me, so no one would be looking for me, but I was worried for Max. As soon as we heard that they thought he had died with John, we could finally breathe.