Over Again (Niall Horan Fanfiction)

A puzzle

Astrid S - Hurts So Good, Olivia Rodrigo - Traitor, Jamie Miller - Here's Your Perfect

'Sometimes doing the most does the least.' I bring my eyes back up, colliding with his. 'I stand by my words. Yet still, what we think might be the best for the other person, could do the opposite.'

As we stand still in the parking lot, cars keep dashing by, the wind keeps on cooling my body even further. I'm a bitch and I know it. Maybe keeping this pregnancy is selfish. I'm not sure about anything but seeing how much he wants to do better makes my decision final.

'It's not about you hurting them.' I contemplated for a second but still, I felt the urge to tell him. 'Love, that's what we fear.' His eyes agree with me, with my emotions. 'Lose it or take it, it'll still hurt.' Why should I tell him about this when right after, pain peeks through and destroys every little piece of hope left in a person.

His face loosens up as if he relaxed. As if those words gave him peace. I've always dashed through life without a second thought. Right now, as I'm standing so close to him, looking up and facing his eyes stops everything for a minute. They take me back right to the night I first met him, to the night my mind went numb as if I put my life on pause every time he would appear. It felt accouraging, knowing that somehow, he will find his way back to me. Just like he did, every single time.

I take a few steps towards him, my eyes focusing on his chest, guiding me to the right destination. Just this time, I allow myself to be selfish and take something from him for the last time. One last hug is all it takes to give me the courage to handle it all.

As my cheek collides with his chest, my arms wrap around him just tight enough. My eyes shut down as soon as his warm hands made their way to my back. It was always about this. The thing that kept me going. Even if my world collided, he was right there. Not trying to reassemble it all back up. He was there, picking up all the pieces, all the flaws that I have. Just so once I try collecting myself together, he would accept them all. He never tried changing me, he was patient enough to hold all of the pieces even when he wanted to put the puzzle together. He knew that if you rush, some pieces might get lost in the process. So do you have use of a puzzle that misses a piece right in the middle? Will you show it off? Will you frame it and put it on the wall?

Among all of the things that one piece could be, either way, I don't want to lose myself in the process.

I feel his head moving. His fingertips still set my back on fire even if he isn't directly touching my skin, it still burns. I never knew what to say to him, but I never felt the need to. Just as right now, I feel as if we communicate, as if we cleared the air about everything.

A loud sound appears out of nowhere, bringing me back to reality. His pocket lights up as his phone started going off. I don't have to guess. Just like he was always there holding me, he was always leaving.

I feel his arms tightening as if he doesn't want to let go.

'I have to go.' He says quietly into my ear. I feel his right hand moving up my back, right to my head. He holds me dearly, bringing my head closer to his.

I close my eyes harshly as all of the feelings I thought were left came right back up. His lips pressed to my head, letting my life off from the pause and pressing the play button.

Even if he kissed the top of my head, I still felt it all even through the hair. I feel a single tear rolling down my cheek. I told myself I wouldn't let this affect me this much, but the feelings I hold for him can't be left closed.

He slowly lets go of me, taking a step back. I keep on looking down, trying to fool him, fool myself but it isn't working.

I look up into the ocean that was about to spill. Maybe it was meant to end this way, maybe he could find his way back to me in the future, but will it be different?