CW: sexual assault
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Chapter 35
The next morning, I woke up very late. Tirik na tirik na ang araw sa langit.
Umupo ako at pumikit ng mariin. Medyo masakit ang ulo ko dahil anong oras na ako nakatulog kagabi. I glanced at the empty glass on the table and my memories of last night poured like an irresistible flood.
My heart pound hastily in my chest as pieces by pieces I remember it all. I palmed my face and tweaked my hair, very frustrated.
Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nakayang iwanan si Olzen sa dining area kagabi. Pagkatapos niyang tumigil ay nanginginig kong kinuha ang baso ng gatas at lumabas ng dining area.
"Elais..." he called throatily but I was dizzy and unfocused.
When I entered my room, I immediately locked it and leaned feebly on the door. Aware of the strange heat and sensation that is stimulating my body, I feel so lost in thoughts.
I don't know what to think anymore. All I could think of is the sensual stroke of his lips on mine. His tongue exploring my mouth and his hands on my frenzied body.
Nang maka-upo ako sa kama ay kaagad kong ininom ang gatas. Halos tatlong lunok lamang ang ginawa ko dahil sa sobrang paghuhurumentado ng puso ko. Naiirita ako sa kakaibang init na nararamdaman ko kaya naman mabilis akong pumasok ng banyo at muling naligo.
Damn it! I'm not dumb to know what that is. And as I regain my rational side, I realized how wrong that is. The desire, the kiss and everything is wrong.
Why the hell did he kiss me? He has a girlfriend, damn it! Or was it because he's drunk? Sigurado akong naka-inom siya.
Hindi ko alam kung sinong sisisihin ko. Sarili ko ba o siya. If he kissed me just because he's drunk... sa tingin ko mas mapapanatag ako ro'n. Galit ako sa sarili ko dahil hindi ako tumutol. At naiinis ako sa kaniya dahil hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit niya ginawa iyon.
And to relieve myself, I will just think that he's drunk and it's an accident. It was the liquor ruling him. I will not accept other explanation anymore.
Alas diyes na nang matapos akong maligo. Agad kong tinawagan si Mama para kamustahin kung aabutin ba talaga ng isang linggo ang pagdating ng caretaker. I don't think I can stay in this mansion anymore after what happened.
"I will give you her number so you can talk to her directly. Mag-isa ka lang ba talaga r'yan sa mansyon?"
Natigilan ako sa pag-aayos ng sarili dahil sa tanong ni Mama. I clenched my teeth and that imprudent scene in the dining area flashed in my mind again. Pumikit ako ng mariin at bumuga ng hangin.
"Yes, Ma. I just want to get back to our house. It's boring here." I lied.
"Okay, I will send it to you now."
Nang nakuha ko na ang numero ay agad ko iyong tinawagan. The caretaker answered and she apologized again for what happened. Aniya'y susubukan niyang makabalik ng mas maaga. Today is Wednesday and she assured to be back by Sunday.
That means I still have to endure three long painful days. Should I really just go to a hotel? But then, I'm not also convinced with the idea. Ugh! Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko!
Alas onse na at hindi pa rin ako bumababa. Nobody came to knock and call for breakfast or maybe I was still asleep. Nagdadalawang isip pa ako kung lalabas ba ako o hindi.
What would I say if I see him? How will I react? I don't want to confront him! Not after what happened. And after so many debates in my mind, I walked out of my room with confidence.
